OK, I just need to vent
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| Sun, 06-11-2006 - 9:05am |
OK, I'd just like to vent for a little bit, of that's OK with you ladies.
First....I would like to announce that I STILL have not been allowing the ex to engage me in any arguments or insanity. And it's been several weeks now...yay! However, he's done some things related to DS that upset me. He fought like crazy for 50/50 custody of DS. It didn't end up an exact split, but close. In his mind, as long as DS sleeps at his house that night, he's exercised his visitation for the day.
Last Monday, DS was sick at school, so I went to go pick him up. I work from home, so it's no problem for me. Now, ex is supposed to have him st 6:00 PM. I called ex and told him DS wasn't feeling well, and couldn't play baseball that night. Ex says he HAS to coach the game (he's a coach on DS's team). Now, I miss things
all the time when DS is sick or has something going on. Ex can miss games to date and play golf, but not to care for our DS on "his" night...one of the nights he fought so hard for? I'm sorry, but part of parenting is also caring for your sick child! So he says he'll pick DS up at 8:15. By 9:30, he's nowhere to be found, and this is a school night. Apparently, he didn't even coach the game, he just hung around

Oh, I am so in your shoes! My STBX is very similar-unreliable, lies to cover his butt, often late, makes plans that conflict, etc. He just doesn't get why the whole world doesn't revolve around him. He wants to be Mr. Spontaneous, but actually ends up doing very little of anything. The Coaching thing sounds very familiar (not that my STBX would sign up to coach anything) BUT saying that he HAD to go coach (which sounds legit) then screwing around instead: classic!
Right now I'm exercising some tough love. I give him the info he needs to make it happen for the kids, then I drive away. If they are late for softball-TOUGH! If they are late for the Brownie Field trip-the other moms know what I'm up against and will not cut him any slack. And I am fairly upfront with DD9; I say things like: Your dad is making plans that conflict with your softball game, that is okay with me if it is okay with you, but you need to check with him about that. If I say the softball game is important, he will avoid it. If SHE says it is important, he will BE THERE. And she is not the kinda kid who thinks it's okay to blow off a game.
NOw I admit, I haven't done this on any REALLY important occasions...I'm hoping I won't have to.
And unfortunately he gets back at me by spending less time with them the following weekends. Nice, eh?
What in the HECK is wrong with men???
Edited 6/11/2006 7:33 pm ET by watershed2006
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~