Ok, not ok at all...
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Ok, not ok at all...
| Thu, 02-23-2006 - 9:42pm |
So he came home tonight from a business trip...I say "home" because he won't leave until the settlement papers are signed...anyway, he has been all nice since he's been gone and came home with a cake and a present for my b-day! I was reduced to tears and am only holding them back now because my son is still up! Damn it, I miss him when he's like this! Problem is, he's never like this when things were good- In fact, he was quite lazy and it always made me very angry. He also kept things from me including money issues and it was really our demise. He wasn't very nice before he left and is now down in his part of the house.
Advice? Am I just missing the routine or did I possibly make a mistake in asking for this divorce?
Thanks all...

Hold your ground. When I finally decided that divorce was the right answer for me, my ex started a cleaning frenzy that included shampooing our carpets! I started to wonder if perhaps I'd imagined all those years of him refusing to help around the house...LOL. It's his guilt that is helping him along, if he's anything like my ex, it'll be a matter of days before he's back to the same old same old.
Melanie
I think what you are going through is a normal part of the process... often times after one spouse asks for the divorce the other behaves better than they ever did previously... only time will tell just how serious he is... but I would hold your ground and keep stay strong... Do some journaling... write down what he did (or didn't do) that brought you to the point where you wanted to divorce in the first place, then if and when he decides to be sugary sweet again, you've got some reminders...
*hugs*
Julie
P.S. If you aren't sure about divorce though, you may want to consider counseling, if you haven't done so all ready as a way to work through what your feeling and make a desicion (either way...)
Make no mistake..... when people see what they're about to lose, they start doing "guilty" maneuvers... or "see, I'm a really good guy" moves.
Always base your decisions on what a "normal" day was like.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Hi...I'm a little late replying but I'll give it a go anyway...Your STBX sounds like my STBX, and these other ladies give good advice! So stick to your guns. Stick, stick, stick!
Maybe it's like quitting a bad habit, the hardest habit there is. You come so far, you stop biting your nails or quit smoking and all those days with your healthy new lifestyle start to add up. Don't lose that ground you worked so hard for. If you're anything like me, you'll never be "sure" about your decision. But I'm MORE sure that I'm happier on my own, than with him on his best day KNOWING that that day is only a day at best. Make any sense? Ha, ha. Probably not. But you sound like you're going to be okay to me.
Mannie