OMG!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
OMG!!!!
7
Mon, 05-28-2007 - 1:03pm

I received a text from DH this morning. He's been away all weekend with work so we have not seen one another in 4 days. Being separated, we have not had any physical contact other than hugs or kisses in about 2 months. Today, he texted me since I cannot really talk much at work on my phone due to work and my phone signal being weak inside. He asked if I wanted to have sex. WELL OF COURSE I DO!!! Have all along. He is amazing in bed and my counselor said it was fine if we did so just as long as our agreement was that we should not expect anything more than the encounter and that it did not mean we were back on necessarily unless we both wanted to be. She said occasional physical encounters were okay as long as we could emotionally process it correctly. Of course, I want us back, but I'll take what I can get. This is a huge step though. He came to me. So tonight we will be together again for the first time in a while and I'm very nervous. I want it to be special and passionate and wonderful. I want him to see what it can be like for us. But if he doesn't see that right away, that is fine. At least we have tonight. Wish me luck! I have dreamed of this moment for months!

~Melissa~

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
In reply to: lissa91
Mon, 05-28-2007 - 2:11pm
Melissa, I understand completely. I have slept with my ex many times since he left. The last was Christmas day. I feel bad for doing it then, but I miss him so much. He has a gf for the last 6 months that he intends to marry next summer so technically I am now the OW. Worst thing is, if he came to me again tomorrow I would probably do the same thing. I love him with all my heart even after everything. He is the only person I have ever slept with and am very comfortable with. He also is an excellent lover. It is hard to keep your heart out of it. I still find myself questioning, why does he always come back to me? Protect your heart. Big Hugs to you! Brenda

Hugs, Brenda 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
In reply to: lissa91
Mon, 05-28-2007 - 2:21pm

Debating on if I will allow him to spend the night yet, but if he does, I will not cuddle him afterwards, just will go to my side and act as if it were just a sexual encounter and let it be that. I am excited though. He's AMAZING!

I cannot wait to touch him again and have his arms around me.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
In reply to: lissa91
Mon, 05-28-2007 - 2:23pm
My ex never stayed long enough to cuddle. We didn't want to get caught by the children.
I am going to jump into the chat room if you would like to discuss this more. Hugs, Brenda

Hugs, Brenda 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
In reply to: lissa91
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 9:16am
Well, last night was not the night but either tonight or tomorrow night will be it. He came over and hung out a while, but he had to go to work at 545 this AM so he could go to an auto auction in Dallas. He needed to go buy cars for the dealership he manages. SO if he's okay tonight and not exhausted from the trip, we will be together, otherwise tomorrow night since he is off tomorrow.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
In reply to: lissa91
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 1:32pm
Well, when it does happen enjoy yourself. Take your time. Be sure to get what you need out of it. Good Luck! Hugs, Brenda

Hugs, Brenda 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2007
In reply to: lissa91
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 2:21pm
"He ask if I wanted to have sex." Are you sure you want to do this? Are you just prolonging the enivinable? Sorry, but as an outsider it sounds like a booty call. Will he go home to the waiting arms of someone else? Please use protection. Unless you know exactly where his thang has been.
Your statement said alot. He wants sex. Do you want love? There is a big differance.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
In reply to: lissa91
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 3:08pm

I'll give you some background here...

We are separated but we are working thru things. We have been talking a lot about a sexual encounter, but he was not ready to go there yet. Not because of lack of attraction, not because of lack of love, but because I was not emotionally ready to accept that we may not be together again necessarily just because we have a roll in the sheets. Now that I have gone to counseling some and began to realize that I don't need him for my happiness, I can see that I can adjust to just having sex sometimes until we are able to work it out...if we are.

I have real reasons to believe he is not going back to the arms of another. It's very personal, but it has to do with a few surgeries in a very personal area that have left a small scar that is painful sometimes. Even without sexual contact. We've had to deal with that a lot and I have had to go many nights without sex due to that but I have been understanding because I love him. Anyway, due to that, he is not going to risk harming himself with some random girl...especially now that he has a DD that looks up to him and my DS. Also he respects me enough to NOT do that to me. How do I know? I just do. But anyway, he was the one holding back for so long while I pushed it. He has said no over and over and I was hurt by that until he finally said he wanted to but he needed for us to be ready to take that step. He knew we were not. In a way, yeah, it's a booty call, but I am using him as much as he's using me. Believe me. We need this and it will feel good and at least we are not out there whoring ourselves. We are only having sex with each other and have signed an agreement. If either of us waivers from that unless we split for good, there is trouble. It might seem that he's being disrespectful, but in reality, he understands the value of waiting until it's right. And after 2 months, it is right to try to take a step forward.

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