OMG!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2006
OMG!!
15
Tue, 12-26-2006 - 12:27pm

Oh Brother!!

I filed for divorce in November. My STBX was served with divorce papers and we had a court date early December. He didn't go to court. I explained to him that it didn't matter if he showed up in court or not, i was still leaving him and taking the children with me after the holidays. He understood.

Flash forward to saturday.............

We were invited to a holiday party. The invitiation was address to us. As we are still living in the house together and few people know of our marital dischord, i asked him if he wanted to attend with me. he always says no. STBX is a recovering alcoholic, went to rehab in october and has been sober since. UNTIL SATURDAY!!

Well, he got smashed, and left me at the party. He called my cell phone several times threatening me to leave the party now, or he "would physically remove me from the house". (where the party was being held)
I left immediately and walked home. When i got home, he followed me through the house yelling, "if you are done with this marriage, just tell me!!" I looked at him and said, "You were served with divorce papers, what more do you need??" Then the cusing, the hand gestures, following me through the house saying, "this isn't over, this isn't over."

He woke up Sunday morning (christmas eve) and acted as though nothing happened. What a mess.




Edited 12/26/2006 1:14 pm ET by whatabadidea
what

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2003
In reply to: whatabadidea
Wed, 12-27-2006 - 1:04pm

There's a few questions I wonder about.

First, although he's been to rehab, has he "reached bottom"? It does not sound like it. As addicts spiral downward, they can inflict harm (emotional, financial, physical) on anyone close to them. He sure does not sound like he's done using. The party was probbaly the first time you caught him using since rehab.

Second, when he's using, he's clearly a physical threat to you. This time he just yelled, but he was following you around the house. Addicts who are still using are unpredictable. Your safety is paramount. Let him know that if he's in the house when using, ever again, you will call the police. And really call the police.

Third, did he drive drunk? Most local police jurisdictions have a number to report drunk drivers. Be careful reqarding auto insurance. See if you can get him seperated from you, so if he gets in an accident, you are not liable.

Please, be careful and keep yourself safe.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2006
In reply to: whatabadidea
Wed, 12-27-2006 - 1:56pm
please accept my apologies for overreacting.
what
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2006
In reply to: whatabadidea
Wed, 12-27-2006 - 2:01pm
No problem. It happens to the best of us. ;-)


My Cover Girls

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2006
In reply to: whatabadidea
Wed, 12-27-2006 - 2:19pm

Ok, back to the discussion. :-)

Old,

I've been wondering if this was the first time he had been drinking since rehab. he had several glasses of red wine and at least 6 beers that i can account for. I had thought he hit rock bottom when he realized that we could no longer make our mortgage payments and i filed for divorce. I am beginning to wonder if he has an underlying mental disorder that is impacting his judgement.

someone else posted a domestic abuse number. i am hoping and praying that it won't come to that, but you never know when dealing with an addict.

he did drive drunk, through our neighborhood. police have no jurisdiction on private roads. (at least this is what i was told)

To the gentleman who i was nasty to: sorry, you did push a button and i apologize.

what
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: whatabadidea
Wed, 12-27-2006 - 5:48pm

That's a drunk for ya!


Ya know, I went out to dinner last night (by myself) and lucked up on sitting at the restaurant's bar next to this guy who was.... drunk.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

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