OMG I feel sick - it's not a bad dream
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OMG I feel sick - it's not a bad dream
| Tue, 05-23-2006 - 1:29am |
It's really gonna happen, he wants a divorce b/c he has a gf who, in his own words, is a "dreamboat". 20 years! we've been married. He cheated the first time from 10/04 to 1/05, we made up and he started seeing this one 5/05. She moved from california to be here, he moved out yesterday at my request. I opened a bank account in my own name today, am finding my lawyer tomorrow and getting an appt asap. I am filing for disability asap and I'm not sleeping, I'm crying all the time, I'm so damn scared! I'm a smart girl, have people to help me think clearly but at the end of the day I'm so ALONE!! I'm still in shock, I found out 4 days ago and I'm just stunned. pls tell me I'm gonna be ok and what's gonna happen. we have 2 kids ages 12 and 14.
thank you
barb k.
thank you
barb k.

Welcome to the board. You'll get amazing support here. You will be ok...people keep telling me "time heals all wounds". You sound like you have a good game plan. Don't waste time getting to the attorney...I wasted 3 months and now I'm getting so much less than my ex offered in the beginning.
Hugs. Hang in there!
Barb, you WILL be okay. Right now it feels awful, but I promise that you will start to feel better as this moves along. I had points so low I wished God would just let me die. Once I started rationalizing what I was going through it was easier. I knew it was normal to feel bad, so I decided to allow myself to feel bad and that each day I felt awful was one day closer to feeling better.
My ex and I were heading for divorce much longer than you have been, but when it all became hard cold reality it still hit me hard. This was just this past December, and I assure you it gets better. I wanted him gone, but I was also scared to death of being financially alone as well as trying to take care of the kids and house by myself.
I have been able to make it work, and you will too. You will find you are stronger than you thought and that things may even be easier with him gone. For me this was definitely so.
Hang in there and feel free to post whatever you need to. We are here to listen no matter what you need to talk or rant about.
Hi Barb.... I think he's leaving a "dreamboat"!
I'm so sorry.... but you deserve so much more love and respect than he's been giving... and being "alone" is far less "lonely" than staring at someone who is so disrespectful and BLIND!
It gets easier... and I'm so glad that you've already taken steps to secure your finances and speak to an attorney.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
We actually talked today in person without me yelling or calling him names. of course, i was crying but that's to be expected.
I opened my own bank account yesterday with almost 4000 in it so I feel some security. The business I helped him build, the life we built will pay me well.
I spoke with the eap guy from work and he doesn't think I'll have any problem getting disability either with fibro, herniated disc in my neck, nerve compression and years of major depression and 1 suicide attempt years ago. Never thought I'd say things might be looking up although this is my darkest time.
whew I'm so darn tired now.
love barb k.
Barb, I'm sorry if this seems like an overreaction, but your list of health issues has me very concerned. I know you are in a very dark time right now, but please call and talk to someone...anyone if you're depression gets too bad. It may be wise to go see a doctor right now to be sure you don't get too low.
Again, I'm sorry if I seem out of line here, but I would feel worse to sit by and say nothing and then something horrible happen with you.
barb k.
yep hurts like *ell doesn't it?? We have kids, do you? I'm being nice now b/c he wants to give me $$ and stuff so I'll take it until he decides honey bunny is right and I don't deserve anymore.
My best advice to all women - make sure you're the FIRST wife b/c you get it all!
love
barb
I think that's a good idea about the attorney. The best offense is a good defense.
Also, I'm glad you've been in touch with your EAP. You're covering all the steps you need to.
Hang in there.
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