OMG I'm going to be broke

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
OMG I'm going to be broke
3
Fri, 05-04-2007 - 7:27pm

It's been four weeks since I filed and my lawyer is already through my $6000 retainer. THUNK. Granted he's done a lot trying to prove stbx is an alcoholic and the costs are higher because stbx didn't cooperate there but I didn't expect to be replenishing his retainer just yet.

To make matters worse, I never got the money I was supposed to from our largest savings account. STBX overdrew it. So now, I have to put legal fees on a charge card and pay interest every month, ugh. You'd think stbx would get the interest since I'd have the money to pay my lawyer if he'd paid me what I'm due.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2007
Fri, 05-04-2007 - 11:54pm

Have your lawyer require him to pay part of the retainer back esp since your lawyer when through it trying to prove STBX was an alcoholic and STBX wasn't cooperating. Do you have bank statments with the balance before he withdrew the money? Get it from the bank. Judges don't really like men who do this sort of stuff. Do you have kids? Judges really don't like dads that mess with $$ to hurt wives b/c it ultimately hurts the kids.
Do you guys own a house? If you do and you're planning on selling it, you could have STBX's part held in escrow until he pays what's owed to you. Also, you could see if your attorney will let you pay once the house is sold.

Good luck and let us know what happens.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Sat, 05-05-2007 - 5:15am
That's a good one. We haven't proved he's an alcohlic yet but stbx's own assessment states he was exhibiting alcohol withdrawal symptoms when he presented himself. I'll have to ask my lawyer about this and see if I can. STBX has a promise of a blank check from his mom and brother for legal fees.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Tue, 05-08-2007 - 8:58am

Be careful about expecting the judge to award atty fees to you (having your X pay any of your atty bill) - it is VERY VERY VERY hard to do. I have about 24 K earlier, & 5K recently, in atty bills ... with PROOF my X is abusive & crazy & a detriment to our dd. He is always in continued contempt of court orders - Yet he was orderd to pay a MERE $750 of my last 5K bill when we had to prove in court he was in contempt. So - dont count on it, its VERY rare to get any atty fees awarded in family court. (btw, my X is an alcoholic too)

1 MAJOR thing i learned in all the past 2+ yrs of divorce, is really, VERY LITTLE matters that they do, that you prove & that they owe you. Its sad but true. MOST stated are based on a 50/50 premise, no matter WHAT the reason for the D. In my case, he was out of his mind, alcholic, i made 75% of our income for 7 yrs b/c he refused to work, I had him removed with a Restraining order b/c he was very abusive & threatening to kill me, burn the house down with me in it, etc ... I spent HOURS on sending my atty PROOF of all this. As well as a TON Of info on what was going on throughout. All that did was increase my bill EXPONENTIALLY. They really dont need details b/c the courts could really often care less. We ended up finally agreeing on a 60/40 split (me 60) to avoid MORE atty fees & trial fees. Its all a total racket - & disgusting.

Im NOT saying dont keep your atty in the loop. BUT ... condense the info, pick your battles ... usually they end up not even reviewing yoru case till you are standing in the court hall waiting. THATS when you can get him to listen to you & hand him (your atty) a detailed consice list of what the issues are to deal with that day. I swear, even though i had the suppossed "best d atty in RI", he didnt get any of the messages or emails i sent, most of the time. Or he would be clueless when we got to court. A friend who is an atty asaid they are all SO busy that they barely HAVE time to prep prior to the court date. So bring yoru stuff & hand it to him there. You are ALREADY paying him to be there so do it then & save all the costs of weekly or daily letters, emails & phone calls.

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