OMG~first email from X since Divorce
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| Thu, 09-29-2005 - 9:20am |
I received my first email since our divorce alittle over a month ago from my Ex late last night...I about flew back in my chair and the top of my head tightened up..OMG. Whats funny is he still writes the same kinds of emails. He still blames me because I left after 4 months of marriage..WELL thats because he put us through HELL. He just does not get what he has done..I don't know if its a denial thing...I would have NEVER of left I LOVED THAT MAN SO MUCH. We had the same huge intense chemistry for each other and I have read that, that usually comes once in a life time. After our divorce he wanted to have a date-like relationship with me for forever or until my teenage boys moved out on there own and maybe remarry (I would never remarry him)and when I asked him about that dating thing just before our divorce he told me NO...I emailed him only one time back on Sept. 7.
Anyways here is his email to me and let me know what you think he's thinking, Remember he is very manipulating.
<<<<<<>>>>>>>

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Karen,
<<<>>>
In the last year his emails have always been like this and kind of weird. I was just wondering in what way was it inviting to you? He told me that I didn't have to respond, but then he gave open ended questions...huh!!! Was he looking for a response? Victoria
The email is bitter because it starts out with what YOU did to him and everything following is sort of an expansion on what YOU did to him.
"The bridge between you and I slowly eroded away as soon as you decided to uproot the nest on Feb. 28,2003"
That is quite a bitter statement. Never does it consider WHY you did what you did. Only what it did to HIM.
He uses words like 'betrayed' and 'deserted' to describe this. He talks again about what YOU have done. He scolds you for sending him anything and tells you what you SHOULD have done. This is halfway through the email and the only topic he has discussed is what YOU did wrong. Very very bitter.
Then suddenly he brings up a hummingbird. Interesting that it looks like he puts an emphasis on the hummingbird mother:
"letting her offspring take their knocks as all "good parents should allow"
Sounds like he is making a point about "good parents". Perhaps you know what he meant?
The following statements are a bit short without much to make them sound like he is honestly concerned about you.
"Do you still attend or have you moved on? You don't have to respond"
The "have you moved on" part is a bit nasty. It would have been much softer and well meaning had it just simply said "do you still attend". And "you don't have to respond" looks more like a challenge and pouting than anything else. That is the part that sounds like he is inviting you, in a bitter way, with some hidden conditions.
"I don't look for any communications from you anymore as it used to completely dominate my being-Sad"
That sounds kind of like "I don't want to hear from you because of the hurt you caused me but I could be persuaded to put up with you if you meet my conditions"
The whole thing seems filled with accusations and examples of what you did wrong. There isn't really anything nice or caring in it.
Hglucky~
You hit the nail on the head on almost everything. He has always blamed me for everything. Never takes blame for anything.
He can't use that excuse about uprooting the nest, because I came back to him, just to be told to leave after 30 days and then when I moved after 2 weeks he wanted me back..WTH!!!
He always fails to m ention all the verbal abuse, lies, deceit, manipulation, etc, ect.
this man never acknowlelges what he has done wrong and says he is sorry. He has 4 ex wives to tell you that (i'm his 4th)
These are the kinds of emails he always sends. I've been use to them..
The good parent thing: He feels I left his home because of my oldest son, protecting them...Yes, I was from verbal abuse...He has always called me a gracious mother, Thanks I take that as a compliment. You see, he gave his 3 kids up for adoption at ages 7, 5 and 3 yrs..HEARTLESS...to his ex wife and new husband. (there all grown and in there 20's now) but he never sees them...I feel he is just very Jealous of my relationship with my boys. Plus he never told me about them until we were married. NEVER KNEW ABOUT THIS WIFE (1ST) AND HIS 3 KIDS....HUGE DECEIT.
He is a very BITTER man and probably always will be...he will never have a healthly relatioship until he resolves his past and he is not willing to do that.
The only thing he can blame me on is for living him because of the things he was doing thats it...
Karen ~ wildlucky4me
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~