Leave your nice lady at home, bring on the mean girl. Niceness will get you nothing. The nicer you are the more you will be walked on by him/her, and their attorneys.
Thanks for your response! I agree, after my attorney husband decided he wasn't happy, our 5 children and myself have felt a great sense of relief. The tension moved out and now we're in the midst of the divorce!
The advice which I gave cmhart earlier I will repeat..
You cannot look behind you anymore. Look forward and find the person that you say has been missing. Once you find yourself and love yourself can you really be true to yourself.
Start doing stuff for yourself - lose any weight that has been bothering you, go out with girlfriends and just laugh, change your look, make yourself feel fantastic. And laugh even if you think you can't!!!
No matter how long your D drags on,never give up and settle. My D went on for 3years ,I went thru 2 lawyers and thousands of $ but I did not settle until I ran out of money. Also like the other poster said, you have to turn into a cold hearted B**ch or your H
get professional help. that's my number one advice. many divorcing people are going thru difficult stages, there is a lot anger, a lot of emotions close to the surface, different people giving advice at different times.
you need legal advice, you need therapy advice (for you, and if there are children then for the kids and for you and your spouse together), financial advice etc.
Well, of all of the things that I've done, said, whatever, the only thing that has seemed to work for me, without a doubt, is pray... I asked God to show me the way I am supposed to go, where I am supposed to be, etc...and here I am, almost a year later, a HAIR away from finalizing my divorce and could not be happier...simply because I put my faith in God and he took me by the hand, not to say that I'm 100% perfect...but I am a million times better than I was...don't want stbx to die anymore, I'm dating, I am going back to school, on a new career path...life is good...and I thank God every day for that...I'm not a bible beater, don't get me wrong, but I truly believe that if you ask, you will receive...so, if you are religious or even spiritual, pray...
The advice I wish I had listened to: DO NOT LET GUILT RULE YOUR DECISIONS.
When making legal and financial decisions, be logical and level-headed. Listen to your lawyer's advice. I did fairly poorly financially in the divorce because I felt guilty. I gave up WAY more than I should have. So if I could go back and change one thing, I would have removed my guilty feelings from the equation.
Document everything... all the phone calls, all the crap... keep good records...
Also, get copies of all the important paperwork--401k statements, etc--often once the process has started, those types of things seem to disappear...
Begin getting yourself established, if you're not all ready, by opening your own bank accounts.
Seek professional help when needed...
and know that there will be good times and bad throughout the process... embrace the good times and get through the bad ones... it does get better, but sometimes it can feel like a long time coming...
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The advice which I gave cmhart earlier I will repeat..
You cannot look behind you anymore. Look forward and find the person that you say has been missing. Once you find yourself and love yourself can you really be true to yourself.
Start doing stuff for yourself - lose any weight that has been bothering you, go out with girlfriends and just laugh, change your look, make yourself feel fantastic. And laugh even if you think you can't!!!
Take the high road.
If you can win that way then win doing the RIGHT thing. Follow the advice. Don't be petty.
Listen to your friends...right up until they want to start a lynch mob.
Listen to your kids. Consider their input, because this is their family too. They don't know what he did or you did.
Be a Grown Up.
get professional help. that's my number one advice. many divorcing people are going thru difficult stages, there is a lot anger, a lot of emotions close to the surface, different people giving advice at different times.
you need legal advice, you need therapy advice (for you, and if there are children then for the kids and for you and your spouse together), financial advice etc.
The advice I wish I had listened to: DO NOT LET GUILT RULE YOUR DECISIONS.
When making legal and financial decisions, be logical and level-headed. Listen to your lawyer's advice. I did fairly poorly financially in the divorce because I felt guilty. I gave up WAY more than I should have. So if I could go back and change one thing, I would have removed my guilty feelings from the equation.
I can't pick just one, so here are a few...
Document everything... all the phone calls, all the crap... keep good records...
Also, get copies of all the important paperwork--401k statements, etc--often once the process has started, those types of things seem to disappear...
Begin getting yourself established, if you're not all ready, by opening your own bank accounts.
Seek professional help when needed...
and know that there will be good times and bad throughout the process... embrace the good times and get through the bad ones... it does get better, but sometimes it can feel like a long time coming...
Pages