I'm with MomtoJoeyBear ... 1) get a good lawyer, even if it takes going through several to find one 2) get all the documentation you can re finances 3) document stbx's behavior if it is noteworthy (mine's is)4) Suck it up for the kids' sake in terms of expressing your righteous anger, etc (i.e. don't do it) 5)Be flexible with regard to settlement negotiations; don't be a harda$$ because it will damage future attempts to co-parent--figure out what feels reasonable and fair and work toward that and 6) don't use mediation unless you have a very simple case and you both essentially already agree (mediation has dragged out for more than 6 months and thousands of dollars and we are no where).
I agree with so many things I have heard so far. My only addition - don't ask anyone by your words or actions - to take sides. Divorce is between the two married people. To the best of your abilities leave everyone else (family, friends and especially kids) out of it.
My X and I don't talk about anything except the kids - we left everything up to the lawyers. So no fighting and no worries about conversations coming back to haunt you.
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I'm with MomtoJoeyBear ... 1) get a good lawyer, even if it takes going through several to find one 2) get all the documentation you can re finances 3) document stbx's behavior if it is noteworthy (mine's is)4) Suck it up for the kids' sake in terms of expressing your righteous anger, etc (i.e. don't do it) 5)Be flexible with regard to settlement negotiations; don't be a harda$$ because it will damage future attempts to co-parent--figure out what feels reasonable and fair and work toward that and 6) don't use mediation unless you have a very simple case and you both essentially already agree (mediation has dragged out for more than 6 months and thousands of dollars and we are no where).
GL
M
I agree with so many things I have heard so far. My only addition - don't ask anyone by your words or actions - to take sides. Divorce is between the two married people. To the best of your abilities leave everyone else (family, friends and especially kids) out of it.
My X and I don't talk about anything except the kids - we left everything up to the lawyers. So no fighting and no worries about conversations coming back to haunt you.
Pages