Only 21 and already getting divorced
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| Sun, 08-03-2008 - 6:33pm |
Hi guys, I found your board after searching for divorce boards. I'm 21 years old, my husband is 27, We have been together about 3 years, been married over 2 years. We have a 2 year old daughter, obviously we got married for our daughter. I don't know what to do now. He has cheated on me at least once(that I know of) and hes very uncommited he claims to be honest but I always feel like he is lying and hiding something from me. I have spent so many nights crying and so many days crying as well. We have argued so much lately that we just decided it can't work. I don't want to have to move back in with my parents but I might not have any other choice. He is verbally abusive(yells,name calls) he has a 5 year old son from another relationship who is a freakin brat and makes me want to tear my hair out. He also has major drama with his sons mom and that's just another added stress to my life. Do I stick it out? I know I love him but I'm not in love with him as much as I used to and I'm so stupid because just a few nice words from him and boom, I've forgiven him. I already want to try dating again but I know I need to take care of this first. I have a pretty okay job, only been there a few months, don't know how much longer I will be there though. Since he pays child support on his other kid($382 a month) then I probably won't get much money since this is his 2nd child. Also, after we got married he told me he had another kid that I didn' t know about and that no one knows about, I know that was a red flag to me right away but I just brushed it off. Do I bring that up in court? He calls me a gold digger for wanting child support and says he will fight me for custody and that he will win because I have bi-polar disorder and they don't want someone 'like that' raising our child. Any advice on how to get thru my life since things are just going to continue to get worse for the time being? Any advice is welcome, even if it's critisicm for getting married so young, trust me I've heard it all. Thank you
Laura

First off, (((((Hugs))))) to you, Laura. Nobody here will beat you up for getting married young. You said you got married because of your daughter, but you were trying to put a family together for your child, and that was something that had good intentions.
If it looks like this is it, and it is ending, I think it could be a good thing to move back with your parents temporarily until you get on your feet. I'm saying that without knowing your relationship with your parents, but under the assumption they would be there to be supportive and helpful for you and your daughter.
Do not worry about your husband using you being bi-polar at you. I believe judges in general look for what you are doing to treat the illness when they make a decision. If you're seeking therapy and taking meds if necessary then it will be looked at as you being responsible.
First thing you should do is seek legal advice. There are many lawyers out there who will give you a free consultation, and if you check with your local family court, they have free help to guide you through this process.
Good luck, take care, and keep us posted as to how you are doing.
hi
I'm much older than you and been married almost 25 years. I just the blow of my life when he came out on the phone asking me for a divorce.
my advice to you is what i'm doing. Lean on family and friends. Get some councoling and join a support group, whether on online or in your community. Keep a journal.
good luck and keep posting
Hi Laura... child support is YOUR CHILD'S RIGHT... YOU are not a gold digger because you EXPECT your child to be supported.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~