Out of the mouths of babes
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Out of the mouths of babes
| Sat, 04-14-2007 - 11:50pm |
Dd#2 told me today that I need to get a boyfriend "one that actually likes you". Man that made me sad. Even my 9 yo is aware that her father doesn't even like me. It's so sad it came to that. I should be glad we're moving on with our lives but I'm not. I should be glad I actually have the chance of finding someone who actually likes my company but I find the idea of dating again daunting.
How do you guys feel about dating again? At what point will you? I'm thinking it will be a while but I'll take dd's advice when I do.

My daughter did the same thing. She is 13 and I am going through a divorce from her step-father (addict) and while I am still boo-hooing about the break-up, she "finds" someone for me to date!! It is a neighbor/friend whom we all know, but I was shocked at how fast she thinks I should jump right in and move on..I think part of it is in hopes that I won't chicken out and go back. But she is really trying to hook me up with this guy and even invited him to dinner! He got a kick out of it and understands my situation....but the thought of dating is NOT in my near future....I'm still figuring out how to stop loving a man that we can't be with anymore....how to stop loving the love of your life even when he's been mean to you....
by the way....this may be a silly question but what does Dd stand for???? thanks!!
Hey there...
It is sad to hear some of the things they say and then downright embarrassing to hear other things they say... Fortunately, in my situation, my Joey was 1 1/2 when we separated, so as sad as this may sound, living w/o his father is all he's ever known... his "normal" family is me and him and my mom.... xil's are still a big part of our life too...
As far as dating goes, I do believe you have to give yourself time to heal... rushing into anything can lead to trouble if you're not truly ready for the situation... As for taking your dd's advice, I think she gave a nice little nugget there... My Joey has been pretty vocal at times as well... typically with respect to one guy.
I don't let Joey see the guy that often (saw him two weeks ago for the first time since October)--I see him much more often, but we're not dating... we work together... (although a lot of people have come up and asked me recently if the two of us are dating)... Joey adores him though, most likely because he gives him the time of day whenever Joey comes around... gives him some of that guy time that Joey seems to be so hungry for...
As for me and dating, I've been divorced for three years... I have gone out with one guy very casually, but there was nothing consistent there... and that was all right... I don't think I was ready for anything more at that point.
Just recently, I've started to feel more ready, if that makes sense... this probably was spurred on by some questions from friends at work... not that I'm doing it because of them, but lets just say it brought it back to the forefront... I took a lot of time and really focused on Joey and I...
Since March, quite a few people around here have gotten quite fascinated with the prospect of me dating someone... Most of these people are related to work in some way... friends from my old department... our computer programmer and such... I guess they figure I've been single long enough... Its all in fun and yet, its not... and typically somewhere along the way, the guy that Joey is fascinated with name comes up... two of them in particular seem to be on a mission...
so it could be getting interesting here... or not... who knows...
but good luck... I'm thinking of you!
*hugs*
Julie
Edited 4/15/2007 9:36 am ET by momtojoeybear
I'm always amazed at how perceptive kids are.
Granted, I've been divorced a while, and it was kind of awkward at first, my kids actually went on a date with me last night... and my date brought his son, too.
I have mixed emotions about it, but the bigger part of me wants my kids to see me date and not get so wound up over a guy that I lose me in the process.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Hi gr8tful,
My DS is 5 going on 15. He asked me not too long, maybe 4 months after his dad left if I was going to get married again. I didn't know what to say, so I said I don't know I'd have to find a pretty wonderful guy to date first. He then suggested our contractor who was redoing our kitchen at the time. (he's cute, but very married and I don't play that).
Kids do say the darndest things, don't they?
About the dating thing, I'm wishy washy on it. I'd met someone very nice and very cute while I was in inpatient physical therapy back in January. We've kept in touch via email, but until I'm done with the divorce bs, I can't think about that. It wouldn't be fair to start something up until I'm officially single again...and tread very lightly then.
Your DD is a bright young lady and I think we should all take her advice.
Hugs to you gr8tful.
Lisa