Out of Sight, Out of Mind

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Out of Sight, Out of Mind
2
Tue, 05-23-2006 - 12:33am

How is it that a parent can have an "out of sight, out of mind" type feeling about their only child? I can't say for sure that is how my ex is feeling but that is what his actions are showing.

The attorney encouraged me to allow my daughter (2) to talk to her father when he called if it was convienent and to allow as much visitation as possible. I've been trying to call my ex at good times of the day so they can talk but he still doesn't answer or return calls EVER. Because of my new work schedule the before bed phone calls aren't working out so well anymore. I agree with the person who said that my daughter probably doesn't even notice her father isn't calling, she's so young that I fear that she will be closer to others than she is her Daddy. She already is clinging to other males (my friends Dad and some of our old friends) and asks for them.

I feel bad that my ex is going to have to work so hard to maintain a relationship with our daughter, but I guess I can't carry the guilt around....I will do my best to encourage their relationship and that's all I can do, right? We pray for him each day and talk about him in possitive ways when a situation lends itself to that. I don't let her hear me talk to other adults negatively about him.

I'm just sad, I want her to be close to her Daddy and it's a terrible feeling that the man he use to be would be devistated if this were happening...the "new" him doesn't seem to mind.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 05-23-2006 - 3:08pm

It's frustrating!... but we can't change it, and maybe just backing completely off will be the biggest eye opener for him.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Tue, 05-23-2006 - 3:43pm
Sadly, there is not much you can do about your STBX's behavior other than continuing to encourage her relationship with her dad. In the end, it may be possible that she does end up closer to other people besides her father. But as long as she has some positive role models in her life, she'll be just fine. Kids are really more resilient than we give them credit for.




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