Over reacting?
Find a Conversation
| Fri, 09-30-2005 - 2:14pm |
First of all let me say how very glad I am that I read the "fighting fire with fire" posts yesterday and, my neighbors are happy too! I met the gf last night and I didn't even know I was going to. STBX picks up my son every day and brings him to my house since he lives in a one bedroom apartment with gf (who he swears is just a friend, WHATEVER!) and Mason doesn't even have anywere to sleep. Well, I got home around 7:45 last night and he wasn't there. I called and he says he had to go to his apartment to use the computer. I said it couldn't have waited until 8 he says no. Then he says Mason can just stay here tonight, I say absolutely not, it's a school night! He gets all mad at me and basically says he will bring ds in half an hour. An hour later I see headlights and they don't turn off and I knew somehting was up. Sure enough there's gf in her car dropping off my son without STBX. She just let him off in the driveway, and I got no phone call from anyone that this was happening and I was furious. I ask her where is STBX and she hands me her cell phone. He says he is stuck in the bathroom with an upset stomach and I called BS on that. He told me that was his story and it wasn't a big deal that this person that I have NEVER met before is bringing my son here without my knowlegde. That I am making a mountain out of a mole hill and he's not sorry! The freaking nerve! I don't care if Mason is calling her Mom over there, I had never met her and here she is in my driveway, past my son's bedtime?? I was very glad that I had read the fight fire with fire messages because I was very polite and cordial to gf and she was in return. I told her I wasn't mad at her but, it was very hard to not dislike her, just so she would know we won't be friends or anything. So out of curiousity, who thinks I'm over reacting?
Thanks!
Jessica


I think you had a normal gut reaction to this situation.
Well.... it took my EX 4 1/2 years to (formally) introduce his girl to me.... and that was 6 months after they got married!
Basically.... it would've been nice if I'd met her..... the co-caretaker of my children when they are with their dad.... sooner than I did BUT a part of me wasn't ready to meet her, and I felt some degree of "comfort" with the situation because I hoped that I could trust my EX to not subject his children to an unsafe situation... and that my kids seemed to like this woman--I got a good vibe about her from the tidbits I heard my children mention from their visits.
Trust me.... your battles should be with your EX.... not with the OW.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
I agree with first when she says that you can't really do anything about how your son gets home. STBX is the other parent and can make "parent decisions"... HOWEVER.
It would have been nice for him to say, ok, _____ is going to bring DS home. And you would have said to him, OK, no problem, see them in a bit!
Hugs to you.... I know it sucks but sometimes we have to bite our tongues. Don't talk about being "friends" with OW... just say hi and bye.... that's it. Less is more.... and always be casual and friendly. Even if you want to rip out her hair ;)
Take care,
Thanks girls! I totally agree I have no control and that is hard for me but, all I am wanting from him is a little common courtesy. For some reason I guess that is asking too much from him. There is really so much more to this story but, it's too long and painful to go into right now. The only thing I regret about the whole thing is I had already taken a shower, pulled my hair back, put on my glasses, took off my makeup and was wearing butterfly jammy pants with my ratty purple robe! Figures! It's ok though I KNOW I'm prettier than her when I want to be :)
Thanks again for the support!
Jessica
Letting go of control is a very hard thing for me as well. My mom was a total control freak (still is) and I'm afraid I've inherited this trait (thank goodness for therapy!lol).
As far as being prettier than her, you are ALWAYS prettier than her! You've had a child and you look as good as you do!! (I haven't seen you, but, I KNOW you do!) Besides, she's a skank ;o) LOL