overwhelmed, new to divorce....
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| Fri, 09-22-2006 - 9:56pm |
Hi to everyone, I'm new to the boards and to divorce...i guess i'm just needing to share my story, almost like to accept its really happening, and just looking for some support.
I'm 24 and just got married 3 months ago. But my husband and I have been together for a total of 6 years, since I was 18. Teenage sweethearts kinda thing, he's really only the 2nd love and 1st real relationship ive known, and same on his end. The 6 years of our relationship were a combination of intense happiness and intense hardship, unhealthiness, struggles etc. Dated long distance for years, broke up and reunited twice, trust issues on both ends etc. 2 years ago I moved to his state to be together and to go to grad school, we got engaged last year, things were great and it felt like we were finally in a great place, and we just got married this past summer.
Since we got married, we have been fighting a lot, all summer. Now he says he wants a divorce after only 3 months, because he says he is unhappy with the fighting and it has caused him to not be in love with me anymore. He says he cant deal with my mood swings/anger and feels it brings back bad memories from our past. I understand him being hurt, and I know i struggle with anger, but i have had a rough year (father died, mother drinking etc), and i am so hurt he cannot be more understanding of my circumstances. I am so hurt he is not willing to at least try to work on things since he just so recently took a vow of marriage. I know i have made mistakes but he is also the kind of person who does not tell you he is unhappy with something until its too late, he bottles everything in and runs away.
I guess im just really hurting right now, because I feel he should not have married me if he was just ready to give up at the first problem. Relationships cannot be perfect all the time. I am also hurt because I cannot understand how he can say he is not in love anymore after 3months. Meanwhile, I cannot imagine my life without him right now...
Divorce papers are being filed now and I'm just dealing with how to cope with this day by day...thanks for listening, i know that was long :) any advice or words of support are so much appreciated!

Hi, and welcome to the board. Regardless of the circumstances, this must be a real shock to you. I hate to even bring this up, but is there any possibility that he wants a divorce for another reason besides being upset with you? It just seems so hasty for him to call it quits after three months of marriage without willing to work on things.
I will tell you, no matter what, you'll survive this. Keep posting!