papers and threats

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2007
papers and threats
5
Tue, 10-02-2007 - 11:00pm
I received papers from my stbx's attorney. They came regular mail, not certified. She wanted me to sign these 2 forms and return them to her. The forms stated that I was in agreement with everything and to go ahead with an uncontested divorce. I wasn't given time to respond. The papers were filed with the court house a month prior to me recieving them. Her letter stated that I had 30 days to respond or it will go into default. Not only that, there were a lot of inaccuracies in these papers. I contacted the local legal aid office, they helped me respond to the papers. I did not send the attorney back the forms she sent me. I made up my own answer sheet, disagreed with most of what was in them. I then put in all the
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
Wed, 10-03-2007 - 8:58am

Just sending HUGS as this is a different place from mine. Sounds really hard and painful. I am glad legal aid is helping.

M

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 10-04-2007 - 11:23am

Hi there.... just know that the first thing that usually happens is, the person sending the paperwork (either by their suggestion, or their attortney's suggestion) asks for the moon and then some.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Fri, 10-05-2007 - 8:26am

Amethyst,


Glad you went to Legal Aid for assistance. All these things take time so try to be patient while you wait for answers. Nothing ever goes as fast as we want when we're in crisis. Even so, you were very wise to seek legal advice.


As for your children, they are adults and really have nothing to do with your divorce. They can tell their father to go fish and there's nothing he can do about it. Unless they have their name on a lease or other legal document in conjunction with you or him, they aren't even part of this process. To that end, I'd stop dragging them into it by telling them everything and posting online. Indeed, I'd counsel you to cool it with the online postings for now. When you do that it becomes public information and while it may not be of legal value to your STBX it causes you undue stress. So stop doing it!


Second, you can find out what your rights are regarding a lease arrangement by asking the attorney. Laws about leases vary from state to state, but they are usually specific. You might be able to find this information in your public library. Ask for help from the reference librarian and look in your state statutes.


All in all, it's a good idea to say less (in person, by phone, by email, by online) when you're in the middle of something like this. You just torture yourself and your family by trying to "fight" indirectly. So stop doing it!


Let us know how you're doing.

CL-Wisdomtooth2020

CL-Wisdomtooth2020

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2007
Fri, 10-05-2007 - 3:01pm
Thank you. I agree with you completely. I haven't been posting anything, I now have my page on private so that it cna't be viewed. My stbx is sending e-mails to our oldest daughter, telling her to get me to sign the papers, etc. Plus he is threatening her with legal action because of her blogs. Her blogs say nothing bad at all. anyways, she's goiing to call his bluff, she's going to offer to send his attorney everything if that is what is needed. My daughter is a strong woman, she has said to me that this is her father's attempt at trying to intimadate her to get to me. What kind of father would do such a thing? It's so difficult for all of us to be going through this, and he's sitting there acting like it's ok for him to do what he has done, and like he hasn't done anything wrong at all. It's sad.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Fri, 10-05-2007 - 5:41pm

Am,


Hi. Glad you put your postings on private. Again, your daughter would be wise to cool it with the online stuff, too. It's very tough to prove "slander" against someone, but writing it down and posting stuff online is a problem you don't need. So ask her to stop posting and keep her thoughts to herself.


Also, tell your daugther to NOT respond to her father. He's looking for a response by talking/threatening her. She should tell him "Talk to Mom, not me." And then leave it at that. She should not send him anything...nothing. That's again nothing between her and her dad. If you continue to let him manipulate you this way, he will. Simple as that. So stop it.


Have your attorney respond to any of his questions or direct him to your lawyer. Nip this high school stuff in the bud.


CL-Wisdomtooth2020