PaS
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PaS
| Mon, 05-29-2006 - 1:31am |
Anyone else going through Parental Alianination Syndrome?
It is when one parent turns the children against the other parent....My xH has 2 of my 4 children hating me so much they have siad they would rather be in Juvie then even TALK to me....my attorney...who has also been a judge, has said this is the WORST case of PAS she has ever seen...she told me we are going for FULL custody with NO visitation for xH...if any then supervised, theraputic....ALSO...me, xH. and the two alianted children...have to have psych evals done!!!!
please anyone

PAS is something that is growing weight in the courts, both in the USA and Canada.
It's usually the primary custodial parent who PAS'es, but can be done from either side. Furthermore, it can even be grandparents, aunts/uncles, or stepparents involved in the PAS as well.
My stepchildren underwent some PAS as well, but they were thankfully old enough at the time of their parents' divorce, that they were not too badly corrupted.
I really do feel for you.
Im so sorry. Yes, i deal with it constantly. UNFORTUNALY even WITH a GAL, the courts here in RI could give a crap that my 6 yr old dd is being emotionally scarred for life.
BEST of luck to you.
I am sorry you are going through this. At best, it is horrendous that one parent or even both parents would engage in this type of behavior. But, unfortunately it happens quite often. It is the result of an immature parent, one or both, who instead of behaving in the best interest of the child, behave in what they think is their best interest. Because they are angry for whatever reasons that the relationship dissolved decide to try and taint the other person in the eyes of the child.
Sometimes, they don't directly say things to the child, but they have conversations with other people in person or on the phone that the child over hears. Even though a child is small, they can still put two and two together. It usually ends up making the child feel responsible, because the child loves both parents and it puts them in the middle. Or the child hears fighting and name calling with the other parent. Some parents even go so far as to keep the communication limited with the other parent to serve their own purpose, they would rather get on the phone when the other parent calls, or when the other parent comes to exercise visitation, and use that time to argue and fight with the X or STBX instead of making it pleasant for the child.
This happened with my step children and my husband. Finally, it ended up with the children not having any contact with him because of a vindictive and mentally screwed up Mother in my opionion. Fortunately, when I divorced, my X and I decided to be adults about the situation and not bring the kids into it. I never bad mouthed him EVER, and he didn't do that to me either. The result is two happy and healthy children with two parents both participating in their lives.
I know it can be difficult and there is no stopping it most of the time because the courts don't take it seriously enough and most of the time it cannot be proven.
All I can say is that the children will grow up, mature and have relationships of their own, they will eventually see the truth about who is behind the emotional issues they have developed because of the situation.
I wish you luck and I especially wish your children peace in this situation.
Well said.
In my husband's situation, it was just as you wrote. You hit the nail on the head...
"Sometimes, they don't directly say things to the child, but they have conversations with other people in person or on the phone that the child over hears."
The children's mother would say HEINOUS things about my husband, and then tell him "I never told them that," when they said something to him. She also used SD's email account to join a web group where she pulicly slandered and bashed my husband -- with the messages from the web group being updated to that email account. Like a teenager isn't going to visit a web site she has full access to and gets updates about, through her email...