Pet behavior post-separation

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Registered: 05-07-2003
Pet behavior post-separation
6
Sat, 06-17-2006 - 3:45pm

STBX has been out of the house for a year, and in that year I've noticed a few things about our family cat. Pre-STBX moving out, she was EXTREMELY high-strung and skittish. She didn't let enyone except immediate family members come up to her-- mostly she'd hide. STBX was and is a drama queen, and there was a lot of screaming when he was here (mostly by him), yet the cat would come out when STBX came home from work.

Right after STBX moved out, the cat went a little nuts; she didn't know what to make of her man being gone... she was super-irritable, didn't want to be around ANY of us still remaining in the house...

Now, the cat goes up to people, including a guy I was seeing (the first time he came to my house, she was there, greeting him!!), a friend who brought her chihuahua in the house... both of my sons are shocked that she's so friendly now. She meows like crazy, "talking" to us all the time.

It IS much calmer around here with Mr. Wonderful drama queen STBX out of the house!

Has anyone else noticed changes in their animals post-separation?

Edited 6/17/2006 3:50 pm ET by susieyippin




Edited 6/17/2006 3:50 pm ET by susieyippin
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Registered: 05-19-2006
Sat, 06-17-2006 - 9:09pm

My one cat has a BIG LOUD mouth. She is also a huge fan of stbx. She would be quiet all day, but the minute he came home, she would start crying up a storm waiting for his lap. Now that he doesn't come "home" anymore, she is back to being quiet.

Both cats used to sleep in the bed w/ me before stbx. W/ stbx here, only one would be in bed at night. For the first two weeks after stbx left, neither one came into the bed. Over the last week (he's only been gone 3 weeks), they have both made their way back to the bed, and the one has started sleeping w/ me again.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2006
Sat, 06-17-2006 - 9:12pm

Susie!

i am seriously thinking about being your ghost writer, inking a deal to publish alllll of your posts to help ladies everywhere navigate the challenges of divorce with such "unsuspecting HUMOR" OMG, this one is tooo funny. but i can relate. STBX got custody of our siamese cat & when i used to go back and forth to retrieve my D-twin-Ss, the cat used to fly out of the room and come and greet me with joy and a desperate look in her eyes of "help me! why do YOU get to escape this jerk and I don't!!"

in fact, one weekend, last winter, i ended up keeping her for a week instead, and when STBX, or "Dud", came to retrieve her, she let out this pitiful "meoooouccchhh!" and clawed him. i laughed loudly!! he told his friends i was trying to turn his "cat" against him. Nice. MIL told me cat cannot STAND new skank GF. she absoultely will not go to her & gives her the kitty-evil eye whenever she can (ha ha).

well, good for you that even the pets are celebrating the exit of "Mr. Wonderful" drama queen. break out the Happy Cat and do the happy dance.

look sooo forward to your posts, yet, seriously, i hope your DS is doing better with counseling and that Mr. Wonderful is NO longer allowing him to drive or building camp fires with him ... go figure?!!!!

hugs!!

Avatar for susieyippin
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Registered: 05-07-2003
Sun, 06-18-2006 - 9:25am

My son is doing a bit better with the FST (Family Stabilization Team). We've implemented a behavior chart for him, and really reinforcing the rules (at least in MY house, LOL!). They've really held STBX's feet to the fire, and called him out on his contradictory statements and attitude. STBX does seem to be backing me up on parenting issues, halleluia!!

Funny story about STBX yesterday. I dropped DS off at his place, and was sitting in the car, talking to STBX. He was standing at the driver's side window. Well, he gestured at something in the car, and "accidentally" brushed my boob with his hand. You should have seen the expression on his face! I WISH I'd had my digital camera with me!!! His entire face went white, and he said, "I'm SO SORRY!" I said, "Whatever, don't worry about it", and pushed the lever to wash the windshield (which spritzed him with the washer fluid). He kinda laughed, and I laughed too. Then, he told DS to get something out of his truck, and he said to me, "Hey Susie--", and I said, "what?" He said "Never mind, I'll ask you later"... He sort of looked like he was going to ask me to get back together with him or something. *shudder* His tone was very friendly, yet defeated, in a way. :-D

So, when I got home, he called me, and said, "I got your note, and I haven't been ignoring you". I think I called his bluff on the mom letter, and that may be why he's been acting so nice lately, but he could be going bi-polar and he'll be postal all week, but who knows.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2006
Wed, 06-21-2006 - 5:44pm

Yes my cats did the exact same thing- my ex was drama mama (man) too...and the cats hid the whole time we were together. Then when I moved out and started dating someone else they came and slept on his chest. I couldn't believe it...my ex called crying yesterday-he let our dog out and she got ran over & died...it was really sad because we had had her for 7 years. He begged me for pictures of her so I said I would mail some too our old house. I am mad at him for not being responsible (all our old neighbors have repeatedly told me how our dogs were running in the streets) now he wants to give all the others to the pound.. I am upset but not in a position to take them myself. He's being selfish with his time with them as he was the whole marriage.

Tara

Avatar for susieyippin
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2003
Wed, 06-21-2006 - 9:29pm
The funniest thing just happened! STBX came over for dinner... the cat steadfastly REFUSED to come in while he was here. This went on froom 7 p.m. to 9;20 p.m. As soon as STBX was gone, the cat came in, without any fuss. LOL
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2004
Wed, 06-21-2006 - 9:56pm

We had 2 cats and a boxer dog. The dog and 1 cat stayed with me, the other went w/ the loser.. I mean STBX.

I thought the cats would miss each other, and that's SOMEWHAT true, I think. The one I have is a stray we adopted about a year after we got the 1st cat. They used to wrestle and play, but they'd compete for food and attention, so both were a little high strung. And they HATED the dog!

Now, the stray I kept (Vance) doesn't empty the food bowl (no competion for his food). He's still super affectionate (though he hid under the bed the 1st week he was gone).

Clydas (the dog) LOVES him being gone! I don't think he misses him at all! Sure, he doesn't have a wrestling buddy any more, but he's way more active with me than he ever was w/ STBX. I'm around for him. I'm more patient (STBX had anger issues and was HORRIBLY impatient). We are best buds! Of course, we usually were. STBX was gone so much that Clydas probably thought he was a visitor anyway!

:)
- JD

- J. Darling

Singehttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v244/JDarling/Headshots/Picture001.jpgr, Songwriter, Author for Celebr