Plans for next month/update...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2004
Plans for next month/update...
3
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 11:59pm


Thanks so much for the replies! A little encouragement goes a long, long way for some of us! I have the address of where to go get the birth cert's now; they are $25 each but I have to get them before I could enroll them in school if/when the judge finally allows that...surely he will not do this temp order without putting in writing whether the children are to be enrolled in public school as I have been asking or whether the ex is allowed to continue with what I refer to as "workbook alley" at a table. It is not a full homeschooling program; and he is not putting their best interests at heart by continuing to do it; its just another part of his universe he wants to control. They deserve to get on with a somewhat normal life, and not fall behind in their studies because of his control issues.

I cannot apply for the food stamps or housing assistance without the ssn's. I won't have enough for Dec's rent anyhow for having lost several days this pay period for the court stuff. Plus his lawyer said in court they are going to contact my apartment management to make sure that they are aware I am going to have the kids for a full week at a time now in this two bedroom apartment, and try to get me kicked out for having too many people in a two bedroom apt.

I have to figure out some sort of shelter for after Nov. 30th, that is all there is to it. But you have to go stand in line for those around 6 pm and have to leave each morning by 8 am or so...what do you do with the kids from the time school lets out until you can get into your room at the shelter that is safe? You can only stay at the park for so long. So I will use part of my next/or last check to pay for the birth certificates. So far the three shelters I have found will not allow children older than 12 years old, and I have five, ages 4 to 15. I will keep calling more tomorrow. I am going to ask former neighbors if I can store a few boxes at each of their garages and start packing stuff up on the 15th. Maybe, just maybe I can find a storage unit rental place which will allow me to rent a space and not require a credit card for deposit.

I got my courage up and approached my department supervisor today. I asked them to consider allowing me to work fewer hours for a finite period of time, say from 9 to 2:30 for a few months. I highly doubt they will approve it. They know I am going through a really difficult time, but there are probably other people at work who would like to work different hours etc, like people who are going to night school classes etc. If they were to allow me different hours, probably that would cause malcontent with other employees. But I asked; trying to come up with any idea possible to keep the job and not get fired for missing too much work, and still be able to care for the kids til that final court trial.

With joint legal and joint physical, my temp orders say we must have in writing the agreement of the other parent for childcare, education and any non-emergency medical needs for the kids. His lawyer already said in court that they will delay approval of any childcare provider I request...and that they must have current background checks, current cpr certification, and stbx would of course want to have a walk-though of the premises to see its cleanliness. They will indefinitely delay approval of anyone I submit to them I am sure. All of those points are good in and of themselves, but he will just use those to never actually come to any agreement with any child care provider so I will have no way of having care for them after school before I get home from work etc. Btw do your elementary schools have a half day off every single week? The ones in my district have the children leave at 1:30 pm every single Wednesday...I wonder what all the working moms, or single parents do? Surely everyone in the world doesn't have a grandma who lives down the street?

There is an after school city program which has adults who watch the children at the playground area of their school up until 5 pm; but its a year or more waiting list. And school buses, if you want to apply, cost $300 a year. I am making a list. These are challenges. They are not the walls of Jericho, which I remind myself did come tumbling down eventually also. *Hugs...and thanks again. Annah


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2005
Thu, 11-10-2005 - 8:20am

Annah,


{{Hugs}} You sound like you have a good start on DOING something.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
Thu, 11-10-2005 - 10:57am

I am a lurker on this board and usually post on the stepparenting and divorce and custody board but I have been following your story. The obstacles that you have had to endure are mountainous and most people would have given up by now (which is what I am sure your ex is banking on).

I would like to help you if I can. Do you have a checking or savings account? If so you can set up a PayPal account (for free I think) and I could make a donation to you through that. I would also like to encourage all the gals on here to do the same. I know we all can't afford to give much but $10 to $20 dollars from each of us could help you get a new place to live without having to go to a shelter.

Please let me know when you get the account set up and I will send the donation that day.

Ladies let's all help her win this battle.........

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
Thu, 11-10-2005 - 11:41am
If you get that pay-pal account set up, let us know.