Playing Nice

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2005
Playing Nice
5
Fri, 08-19-2005 - 11:06am

HE had an affair came home and impregnated me then proceeded to flip-flop between her and me throughout the pregnancy- racking up long-distance bills talking to her while sleeping in my bed telling me that everything was going to be alright...

HE wouldn't get help for his drinking problem. Continued to play mind games with me, threaten me, throw things at me, kick in doors, come at me with a knife, drive drunk...

HE tediously told me how he never wanted a baby but now he's stuck with it...

HE consistantly drained the bank account- overdrawing it before bills could be paid, bouncing rent checks, nearly getting us evicted twice...

And I LET HIM DO IT for way too long. But now that I've finally found the strength to walk away and put my life back together...I have to play nice? 'Nice' got me into the marriage in the first place! He doesn't understand 'nice'; he feeds off of 'nice' like a parasite!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2005
In reply to: jrpierce8
Fri, 08-19-2005 - 12:32pm

Hugs to you sweetie.


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
In reply to: jrpierce8
Fri, 08-19-2005 - 12:40pm
Nice does not mean you are a doormat.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2005
In reply to: jrpierce8
Fri, 08-19-2005 - 3:09pm
Boundaries...that's what I'm having a hard time with. I don't like being the "B" and that's how I feel everytime I tell him 'no' or try to 'draw the line'. Old habits, I guess.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2004
In reply to: jrpierce8
Fri, 08-19-2005 - 4:14pm
Just remember, you don't owe him a thing. You will get nowhere in this world by treating him nicely. He hasn't extended the same courtesy for you and your child, there is no reason you should extend the same courtesy to him.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
In reply to: jrpierce8
Fri, 08-19-2005 - 4:22pm
Therapy is great for learning to set boundaries.

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