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Please help
| Fri, 04-13-2007 - 10:12am |
Hi, Im new here, Im not sure if you guys already know each other or not but I am so confused. I suspect my husband is doing bad things.. which I can't even mention yet. But, anyway, do I wait for more proof or confront him now? He will probably lie... I had some proof in the past but I guess he convinced me it's not true.. but now a year later I am seeing signs again. We have 2 kids and have been together 9 years, married for 3. We get along great and everything with our family is fine.. except for these weird things I keep finding?? Sorry, I can't be more specific, it's really bad....

If the behavior he is exhibiting now is the same behavior you proved to be true, I would confront him now.
.... A piece of mind is worth more than Silver and Gold or Platinum these days....
Take your concerns to an experienced counselor and talk them through. Since you can't share specifics here (I understand) you need to find someone you trust with whom you can share them to help you make a determination as to what to do, especially if you think his behavior puts you or your children at any kind of risk financially, physically or morally.
M
I was in a similar situation. I did what an earlier person suggested and went to a counselor first. I was so concerned about my husband's behavior I couldn't even tell my closest family and friends. The counselor confirmed that my concerns were legitimated. At my first visit she suggested I go to a lawyer for advice. I did and the lawyer said if she was in the same situation whe would file for a divorce that very day. His behavior concerned money and was concerned that I would risk my finacial position even more every day I stayed with him. I shortly after that did file for a divorce and am not in the middle of that process.
Like you I also found things I was concerned about. He explained away everything I said. I wanted to believe him for the sake of our family. But after a while I couldn't believe it any more. The divorce has been very painful and difficult. So get all the support you need.
Just to let you know if you do confront him he is likely to explain it away again also. And, if you are like me you will believe him. But it will only be a matter of time until you lose sleep over the situation. For me I am also losing alot of my financial assets because of his financial infidelity. Just don't make the same mistake I did. Go with your gut. But get legal advice right away. Most lawyers will give you a free consultation.
Good luck. Feel free to email me if you have any questions.