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| Wed, 11-16-2005 - 5:30am |
I am a 26 year old stay at home mom of 3 kids; 41/2yrs., 2yrs. in December, and 4 months. My husband and I have been married for 6 1/2 years, and now he's leaving me. We didn't have any huge fight, everything was normal and all of a sudden he is leaving. He even told my 4yr old! He says that he doesn't love me anymore. That he hasn't felt like I love him, and he hasn't been happy for 6 years. He says he just can't give me a chance to make things better. I realize I screwed up, we've been slowly drifting farther apart since my middle child was born. I got overwhelmed and depressed and didn't ask for help, and then I got pregnant again... I just don't know what to do. How will I make it? How can I convince him to stay? I love him so much!!! I just don't know what to do. He won't give me a chance to make things right, I really think I'm going to lose him forever! I can't sleep, I can't eat. I can hardly function. How am I going to make it? How am I going to take care of my kids. I have no job! I have no money! I just don't know what to do. If he would just give me a chance we could get things back on track. I know we'd be ok. He's stressed out, working a lot of overtime, and we don't make a ton of money to begin with. He just thinks that it would be better to quit now. How can that be better??? He told me he doesn't want to waste anymore of his life. What do I do???

First, you need to accept that you only have control over your own behavior and your own decisions. It sounds like your world is being turned upside down. It takes two to make a marriage work, and if he isn't willing to work on it, you can't force him. With that said, I am surprised that he won't even consider counselling. With three children in the picture, surely, he would try counselling? Getting married and having 3 children so quickly is a huge change to a person's life.
If not, you need to consult with a few lawyers to get your financial footing in place. Since you don't work, you should get child support and alimony, plus a split on all assets...including any debt. Get all of your financial papers together.