I'm new to this forum and really look forward to talking with you all.
wow; That is an incredible thing that you had to endure.. Its shocking but atleast now you can get out of it.
All you can do now is focus on yourself and your kids. Go to counseling; support groups; and do all you can to heal and get to a good place in life.. If you dont you might attract this similar kind again.
There is alot of help out there for you. Find it and then go and get the support. They must have addiction support groups and also support groups for your kids.
When I was divorcing my abusive sociopathic ex husband I also found out things that were somewhat bizarre. Not as bizzarre as your story but still. Mine logged onto dating sites and starting sleeping with women as soon as I walked out the door.
It makes me wonder do we really know anyone?
Okay; So back to you??
My heart goes out to you in this situation. I can't imagine dealing with your shock and dismay at this betrayal of your trust, loyalty, and family. You are wise to seek legal advice.
My two cents:
1)Get a copy of your credit report from
ask your attorney to find a financial analyst that specializes in divorce, they have extensive training and the resources to locate all income with in a marriage.
Thank you all so much for your words of support and encouragement.
wow; I feel that you are one strong woman and will get through this. You are amazing and you most likely will do well in all that you decide to do.
You will be so much better off without your ex . Lets hope he passes those tests and he can be a dad to his kids.
It is going to hurt big time but you seem smart and articulate and well educated. I have no doubt you will get through this although it will hurt and it will take time. Just take it one day at a time and take care of you..
You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. By all means, you do what makes the most practical sense for yourself and your children, including staying anchored in your Florida community. I'm glad you have a good attorney, counselors, and a teacher who is able to work with your daughter.
I just wanted to say: You will survive this. Yup. As impossible as that seems right now, it is true.
Keep your faith in God. Stay practical and it sounds like you can lean on your parents.
Eventually it is your husband who will have to face the reality of his addiction. He may never be whole or he may have to make a bumpy trip to the bottom before he realizes he has a problem. Either way, you are doing the smart thing even though it's hard.
Take care and keep us posted.
Hi there, I am also going through a divorce at the moment, and even though my STBX seems to be going off the rails in an alcohol and depression, my story is nothing compared to some of the stuff I've just read here.
My mother gave me a book called "WHAT ABOUT THE KIDS?: RAISING YOUR CHILDREN BEFORE, DURING, AND AFTER DIVORCE" by Judith Wallerstein and Sandra Blakeslee, it has a lot of helpful information about how to handle things, I am reading it at the moment and it is helping me make decisions as I try to figure out how to best help my children. You can find it on Amazon. I am also seeing a family therapist next week with the sole purpose of getting professional advice on how to best help and support my girls.
You sound like an amazing mother, and your strength will help you help your children along in their adjustment.