Please help me with letting go

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2005
Please help me with letting go
11
Tue, 10-04-2005 - 5:19pm

Hello Ladies.

My name is Phil and I have been served papers from my wife of 7 years and Domestic partner of 12. We have a 10 Year old boy who is wonderfull. She has moved out as of September 1st and she seems to love her new life. She has this really strong desire to not need help from anyone. I think it upsets her to have to rely on people(me specifically for physical strength or monetarily)

I am still very much in love with my wife and she has moved on. I have started psych meds because for the first time in 32 years I cried for 3 days striaght. due to the fact that I miss my partner so much. I have also found taht she has started a sexual relationship with this "Nice guy" who treates her well (am I supposed to be happy for her?).

A little about our past relationship:
I spent alot of time out of the home because when I was home she would nag and I would in return want to leave(Visciuos cycle). I was not emotionally there for her and I regret that now that that I have found my new emotions that I had bottled up.

She has already started a serious relationship with a guy that I was suspect about 8 years ago when she was the Maid of honor to him being the Best man. He was a little too close for comfirt you know what I mean?

She has asked me to let her go so she can be with him. I am so hurt. How do I let go to my soulmate?

-Phil

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2004
Sat, 10-08-2005 - 9:46am

Phil, I am in the same boat, Andrew was my one and only love, he showed me beauty, and it took seperating to see reality. Yes I loved the m an who sang to me, and let me rest during my depressive states, but in the end he was resentful of the love he gave me, I never became the woman he dreamed I should be, and he never became the man I dreamed of. We have been seperated for 13 months, today, he has a SO, she is his best friend of 8+ years, she threw me a baby shower when I was pregnant with our son, I am happy for both of them, in my opinion, a life partner should be a best friend, not just a lover. I am still too hurt to venture out in the dating game, but I still hope to meet the one, the one who will see me, and accept me, stand by while I learn more and more about me, I was a wife at 21, a mother at 22, seperated the first time at 27, common law wife at 28, and here I am 32, and single for 13 months, the first time in more than 14 years. I have only recently been able to let go of him, yes I still regret what happened, but in time that will heal too, my first lesson was to learn patience, with myself, and then with others. I need to show my kids that I can be happy and whole without a man by my side.


You have to let her go, be happy she found someone to stand by her, and once you are able to let go, your new life will begin, and it will be your turn to find happiness.

Stephanie

Stephanie

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