Please help me! LONG - Sorry

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2008
Please help me! LONG - Sorry
8
Mon, 02-25-2008 - 4:05pm

This is really ugly… sorry it’s so long.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 02-27-2008 - 4:50pm

What would I do?


He needs intensive counseling.... because HE calls to make the appointments (not you calling for him)... because HE thinks that's what HE should do for the marriage (And being a parent).... not because he thinks he has to do it to stay with you.


I'd just tell him flat out, he needs to figure out what he needs to do to get this under control.... forever... or you're OUT!


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2008
Wed, 02-27-2008 - 5:10pm

Thank you, Karen, for your advice. It's hard to pour your heart out like that on a website and have no one respond.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2007
Wed, 02-27-2008 - 8:35pm

Kate,


I'm sorry you are going through this, especially so since you are pregnant.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2008
Thu, 02-28-2008 - 12:17am

Kate:


I can't believe there is someone out there in my position.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Thu, 02-28-2008 - 9:26am

Kate,


Hi. Sorry to hear your husband is acting like a bummed out teenager. And, I believe, therein lies the problem.


It sounds to me like getting married and impending parenthood has him "freaked out" to a degree. That means doing very adolescent things like internet porn, "online dating" and arranging to meet women. Some men panic at the realization they have to "grow up" and act like adults. It sounds like your husband has enjoyed a long-extended adolescence that includes being supported by you, sleeping late every day, and "playing" at work by living for the next gig.

CL-Wisdomtooth2020

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2008
Thu, 02-28-2008 - 11:30am

Hi Kate:


I was thinking a little bit more about what I would do in your situation and I would try to find more proof.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sat, 03-01-2008 - 6:11am

(((hugs)))


When i was 4 months pg, I went thru the exact same thing - well, except i didnt catch him jerking off. But i DID break into his email b/c i knew he was closing the computer window EVERY TIME i walked into the room. & same type of thing - IMing & emailing with women, asking for phone numbers, getting naked pics of them, etc. I FLIPPED OUT. Scared the hell out of him I would miscarry b/c i was SO out of my mind. I wrestled a phone number i had seen him hide, to call it, & he flushed it. Gee? GUILTY MAYBE?


Fast forward till i was 8 mo pg. Well ... again. But this time I had been tracking 2 months of cell phone calls to the same woman 30' away.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2007
Sat, 03-01-2008 - 11:00pm

wow, kate I can see clearly how you chose your screen name.

 

~beauty. grace. strength. wisdom. spirit. courage.