please tell me your opinion on this reac
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please tell me your opinion on this reac
| Mon, 05-12-2008 - 3:35pm |
Let me try to be short and simple......I would love to hear others opinions....
Had a 10 year relationship with ex---we lived together with my children from first marriage; he had none.
Most of the years were great/good.

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Hi, read your thread this morning, and your story is so similar to mine. I think you want someone to tell you that the other woman can make them pull away and be so cold to you. I whole-heartedly agree with this. They are narcissists, and only care about their own feelings.
I discovered my STBX's affair through a text message she sent while we were eating dinner and he got up to go the bathroom. It said, "We could be a family and hopefully add to it." Shocking...but since then (that was
Hi bp---
Yes, my ex is narcissistic for sure.
I can't speak for all men, but I will try. Our emotions, and therefore our attachments are primarily sight, touch, and smell oriented. We have an ego that needs stroking. We look at a woman and if they meet our attractiveness level we see if they are available. At least most do, some men do not care about your marital status. A new woman, good looking and interested in us, boosts our ego, and can lead to exactly what you are experiencing. Most relationships today, due to our busy schedule, are not as solid as they were 20 ~ 30 years ago. It takes less to break them apart.
Truth is, women are the same. You can tell in the first couple of minutes whether you would sleep with us. And if you won't sleep with us, marriage is out of the question. The only difference I see is once you get to know a man, you develop deeper feelings that take longer to build, and therefore take longer to disappear. You may not notice our feelings dropping because you still feel safe and secure.
I do not know what pushed him towards another woman, but to be honest, as "tough" as we are suppose to be, most men are scared to be alone. When we feel our current relationship may be in trouble, we may run to the next, just in case it does fail, all the while holding on to the old just in case the new doesn't work out. Odds are your SO had already moved on, and was waiting for the shoe to drop in one or the other relationship. Your discovery made him chose, stay with you and live in the doghouse for a while, and have to work on rebuilding the relationship, or move in with the OW. Less guilt and hassle with the OW, so...
Not to pry to much, but why did you live together and not marry? Are one of you afraid of commitment, or did you push (leave hints, mention, think about loudly...) for a commitment that panicked him?
We didn't get married because there was no compelling reason to do so.
My EX has narcissistic traits and it wasnt until he started to see this new woman, the first relationship since our break up 4 yrs ago, did i start understanding the relationship more and discover that he indeed has a personality disorder.
The thing about narcissistic men is, they are never in love because they are unable to feel that emotion.
Wow---that is scary!
well, it went very well and thanks for asking!!
He is a very nice man, and it was great to go out with someone who seems very interested in me.
I also am so hurt by how quickly my STBX could become a totally different man-while I
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