pregnant and kicked out

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2007
pregnant and kicked out
6
Sun, 04-08-2007 - 6:03pm
hello everyone. I hope everyone's Easter was way better than mine! My husband decided to turn the car around half way into our commute to my families house for Easter brunch. Things got ugly and now I am sitting at my parents house wondering what to do.....To give you a quick background, we have been married for 6 months and are expecting a baby in 5 weeks. Our relationship began while he was overseas and we got married exactly a year after he had been home...Now I know there are a ton of things to be worried about with the little one arriving, but since the marriage, about once a month he goes into these "power trips". He kicks me out of the house(it is only his name on the mortgage), takes all my keys(to the car I drive), changes the locks, takes my bank card so I have no access to money and then leaves me to weep. (there are a TON more things to insert here, but I promised I would leave it quick) Now that the baby is going to be here, I don't think I can sit and wait for him to kick BOTH of us out...I just wish he would agree to counseling, which I have asked time and time again...I know that I am not the best wife right now and am extrememly hormonal, I just wish he would be more understanding. I don't know what I am asking for with this post, but I just wish someone could predict my future for me so I know what to do.... I guess I am not sure what to do???
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Sun, 04-08-2007 - 7:45pm
The things he does to you are absolutely awful and abusive. I don't care how hormonal you are, you are carrying his child and he should treat you with the love, tenderness, and support you deserve. If he refuses counseling, I would suggest going on your own. Dealing with someone that abusive (emotionally and verbally) can really damage your self esteem.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2007
Sun, 04-08-2007 - 8:13pm
Dear, you need to take a good hard look at whats going on here. He goes on a power trip, and you hand him the key. You need some power of your own. IF I were in your place, I'd stay right there with your family. For now and until you can get on your feet after baby is born. Does your family know what's going on? The last thing you need right now is drama. It sounds like there is abuse going on. No one should put up with that. If you go back, what's to stop him from kicking you out without your baby? It can and does happen. You really need to confide in your family. Is he still in the military. If he is he can get in a lot of trouble for abusing you. Please don't hold every thing in. Your family needs to know whats going on. What kind of life do you want for your child? Peaceful, happy life or choas and termoil. If you can't talk to family find a friend or someone. But please take care. And insist he get help.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2007
Sun, 04-08-2007 - 8:29pm
thanks so much for the message. my family is very supportive of me staying here. it will be weird sleeping in my childhood bed, but i know its for the best. these days and weeks ahead of me are going to be so hard, but i know in the end it is best for my baby. thanks again for the message.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2007
Sun, 04-08-2007 - 8:32pm

hey there. thanks for the reply. i am planning on staying here with my family until i can get a place of my own. i did have somewhat of a conversation with him on the phone, and i was all apologetic and upset, he on the other hand, was as calm as can be. i don't get how this can not affect him. i do know that i need to put my baby first, and staying with my family is the safest and best thing to do. he is no longer with the military, but i wish he would get some kind of help. i have offered numerous times to go with him, but he refuses. i wish i knew what to do to help him and us..and our future...

thanks again for the reply and have a great night!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sun, 04-08-2007 - 8:38pm

You should talk to an attorney ASAP to find out exactly what your rights and responsibilities are.... he cannot just kick you out, I don't care who's name is on the mortgage... and he can't leave you penniless either.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Sun, 04-08-2007 - 9:28pm

Candy,


You are the victim of domestic violence. Please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or visit their website at http://www.ndvh.org/. Your husband is using fear and threats to control you. That's not how a husband should treat his wife or his soon-to-be-born child. He needs help but you need to get help for you and your child.


Get help staying safe, get help from an attorney regarding your rights and responsibilities, and stay away from your husband until you have a plan for staying safe. A man who throws you out of the house in fits of anger has a violent temper. He has a problem and he needs help. If you ever find yourself being "shown the door" again please call the police and file a report. No one can help you if you don't ask for help.


Good luck.


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