Preparing for first meeting with lawyer

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2005
Preparing for first meeting with lawyer
6
Fri, 04-15-2005 - 10:57am

I am meeting for the first time with my divorce attorney on Tuesday. I want to make efficient use of the time with her and want to be prepared. Does anyone have any suggestions for what I need to pull together to be able to present my case and get her up to speed? Any help is appreciated.

-jules

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Fri, 04-15-2005 - 11:06am

I would take copies of any financial information you have, bank statements, credit card statements, pay stubs, investment statements, daycare bills, etc. Anything that is a marital asset or debt, or a childcare expense. Also write down what you want to see happen, or your initial thoughts on how the assets/debts should be divided and how you expect custody will be agreed on by you and your husband.

Then get together a list of questions that you have. I am sure that others on the board have an idea of what they went in asking. When I went, my ex and I had already separated, sold our house, divided our assets, paid off joint debts and our custody arrangment was in place and working well, so for me it was a matter of making it official, computing child support and finding out if we were missing anything (the only thing we had no considered is whether or divorce agreement would address us paying for dd's college).

I personally would ask if the attorney has experience handling amicable divorces. All amicable divorces can take a turn for the worse, but some attorney's don't do amicable very well, and to me that is a problem (the more adversarial, the more the attorney gets paid so they have an incentive to be adversarial, the question is do they take advantage). An attorney that does amicable well can also usually do adversarial, but not the other way around. This was important to me, not sure if it is important to you.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2005
Fri, 04-15-2005 - 11:10am

exactly what firstamendment said.....I agree!


Good luck and if you need us, we are here :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2005
Fri, 04-15-2005 - 11:52am

My biggest concern now is the fact that my husband is not working and is staying at home with our daughter. From reading on here I know that can hurt me in the custody arrangement. I am afraid that I am going to have to pay him spousal support! That just makes me really nervous.

Thanks so much for your advice - I'm making a list and will pull everything together this weekend.

-Jules

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Fri, 04-15-2005 - 11:57am
The attorney should be able to answer those questions for you. The best thing you can do IMHO is agree to joint custody. Joint custody means neither of you fight for sole custody, and I personally wouldn't want to fight for sole custody against a SAH parent. If you are both good parents and you are not abusive to each other, a child can really win with joint custody. If he gets spousal support, it will most likely be just during the separation, he would have to prove he gave up a career to SAH with your dd, and that he needed you to continue to support him while he got some re-training or education to re-enter the work force. From your post on the other board, I don't think that is the case. If you do have to pay him some spousal support for a few months during the separation like I did, just think of it as the penalty you have to pay to get out of the marriage, it's a lot cheaper than continuing to support him for years and years.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2004
Fri, 04-15-2005 - 11:59am
I gathered copies of most recent account statements, debts, etc. Then I made a cover sheet summarizing all the information:
-Vital statistics: my name pre-marriage, name during marriage, and the fact that I was changing my name back, my date of birth, SIN# & same for my spouse, our date & place of marriage (lawyer may need a copy of or original marriage certificate), date of separation, my current mailing address, employer & contact #'s & same for my spouse. If you have children, you'd want to include children's names, ages, dates of birth...
-Assets: what you own (at least the major items), how you'd like to see it split
-Debts/bank accounts: list of joint & separate bank accounts & balances, list of joint & separate debts, if you've agreed how these will be split list that or if you have an idea of how you think it should be handled list the suggestion
-Insurance: details of insurance (car, home, medical, life)-how it currently is, and how you'd like it to be resolved
-If you have pensions, retirement savings, details of these
-Might need copies of tax returns, financial statements, etc. (I didn't-we waived that)
I can't remember if there was anything else on my summary. But it was great to have all the information on one page in front of me-saved time helping my lawyer fill out the preliminary papers.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Fri, 04-15-2005 - 1:03pm
Also, I have joint 50/50 custody and I do pay my ex child support because I make more than him, but shared custody does not always have to be a 50/50 split, so talk to your attorney about that as well.

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