In the process of divorce

Avatar for sunshine2u2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2004
In the process of divorce
4
Sun, 04-17-2005 - 6:17am

Hello everyone,

I am new to the boards. I a 42 year old mother of three and I am in the process of divorcing my husband of 12 years. It will be four weeks this coming wednesday that I tossed him out. He is an alcoholic and a controlling verbally abusive man. I came home from a really good job to help him with his business. 3 years later he was drunk everyday and I did not want to join him so I got a job. It paid 56,000 a year. But with the escapades with him and during this time he got really sick. I missed too much work and lost the job. He worked two days for an agency and thought he was god. I kicked him out and have received 200 in all this time. I have been looking for a job but haven't gotten one yet. I have been selling alot of my things of value to make some money. I have two teenagers and a 20 year old daughter. His daughter was alot of the problem. He also left me 4,000 in the hole in the bank. His answer when I have asked for money is to go to work. He also tells me to go to work for the agency that he works for. Since coming home and working with him I suffer from Panic and depression. I know that I cannot work for an agency. I need a steady enviroment. We are both RNs. We had a year sale last week and my mom talked with a woman who knew his daughter. She had worked at walmart and been fired. The woman said that she was known for her escapades at work and was wanted for theft. This made me feel better because I always knew she was up to no good and game playing.

Anyway, I don't have any girlfriends and would like to make some. The idea of dating
makes me nauesous. Thanks for listening.......sunshine

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Sun, 04-17-2005 - 9:03am
Welcome to the board. Sorry to hear about all you have gone through, and I hope you can find a job soon. This is a great board and I am sure you will be glad you found us.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 04-18-2005 - 11:30am

Hello... and welcome!


I think that since you are getting out of a bad situation... that your health issues will be on the track to resolve very soon (and don't be afraid to ask your primary care doctor for some advice about short-term things that you can do to try to help out).... and that with RN credentials


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2004
Mon, 04-18-2005 - 2:47pm

Hang in there, sunshine. Things are tough right now, but they will get better. Keep hunting for a permanent job, and in the meantime maybe there's another agency you could work for temporarily that your STBX doesn't work for.

It's tough not having girlfriends. When I split with my ex a few years ago, I realized I didn't have many of my own friends-most of our friends were couples, who I no longer had much in common with. I was lucky enough to have one single friend who took me under her wing and gradually since then I've made a few more girlfriends (I'm introverted, so for me that's a big accomplishment). If you don't have any friends you can reach out to right now, there are ways you can develop friendships - coworkers, joining a hobby group, church group, volunteering. And there's always the great virtual support you can get on message boards.

Dating-take your time. Some people may try to push you to move on quickly, but there is no rush. It's a lot easier to heal, get closure on the past, and figure out who the single you is before you try to figure out what you're looking for in the dating world.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2005
Mon, 04-18-2005 - 2:54pm

Hey Sunshine! Welcome to the boards :)


I am so sorry for all your going through. We all certainly know how hard it can be...... Hugs to you sweetie!


I think the best thing you can do is TRY to take care of YOU. You have to take care of you before you can take care of the other stuff. You just HAVE to.


We are all here for you and if you ever need anything, we can all be your cheerleaders :)


Hugs,


Angelena