In the Processs of a Separation.........

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2004
In the Processs of a Separation.........
5
Fri, 01-13-2006 - 1:37pm
I desperately need help and I don't know where to turn for answers. Maybe someone on here can help me out. I am in the process of a separation from my husband of 13 yrs. The grounds for the divorce are not what in the state of SC, is called "just" reason. Simply a case of "Irreconcilable Differences". I've changed and he has not. In my case there is no money to be had from allimony or his retirement. I am still living in the same space with him and we are both miserable. I can't leave financially, and I can't stay emotionally. Soooo, what do I do? I want to go back to school and get some training so that I can find a reasonably good job that will support and sustain me when I am finally out on my own. The problem is; that I am 56 yrs old, and there are alot of things that I can't handle physically anymore. I need financial aid for housing and also for continuing education. Does anyone on this board know how I would go about getting this kind of help?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2006
Fri, 01-13-2006 - 1:47pm
My situation right now is similar. I am still living with my stbx due to finances. I have applied for an apartment were the rent is based on your wages. I am also going to go back to school. There are pell grants through the goverment that will pay for your education. Go to www.fafsa.ed.gov to apply for them. There should also be assistance through the state government and possibly the college.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 01-13-2006 - 2:05pm

Additionally, if there is a university that you have in mind, contact them and find out if they have "special" housing arrangements.

Peace,

Di

***If you cannot define yourself, your circumstances will.***

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2004
Mon, 01-16-2006 - 2:30pm

thank you so much for responding to my plea for help. I really don't know where to turn. How can I go out there on my own without full-time employment? I'm afraid to move out of here for fear that I won't be able to survive! I've been looking for work now for approx. the last 4 months, and haven't been able to get a job. I am in the process of applying to fafsa...........btw, what does this fafsa stand for?? I haven't gotten a lawyer for the separation as yet. I have gone for a consultation, which cost me $200! It didn't help me out at all. I also have three credit cards in my name.......'yes', dumb of me! My husband told me that if I signed over the house to him, that he would pay them off, or at least pay them down enough so that I could handle them. I didn't get this in writing and took his word for it!! BAD mistake on my part. I guess I am totally naive, because he has only paid the bare minimum payment on my cards, and has yet to pay them down!! I believe he is holding them over my head in an attempt to keep me under his control. :( He also has not as yet retained a lawyer......or not as far as I know. How can I pay a lawyer's fee's??!! I had a part-time seasonal job through the holidays, and it just about killed me. Working for a Dept Store at night..........sometimes very late at night! It was very hard work for a woman my age, and the pay was not worth it! However I have managed to save up a small sum of money, which will dwindle down quickly once I do get an apartment. Could you please tell me how you are handling the living together thing? Because I am going nuts here!!

Someone please give me hope.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2004
Mon, 01-16-2006 - 2:35pm
Thank you so much for your response. I am at my wits end here! I have looked into a Vocational College for Continuing Education courses, but they do not have living quarters. They are just a Technical, Vocational College. I have also checked into low-income housing. The ones that we have in this area are, ummm, well...........I'm not comfortable with living there. Its not what I would consider a safe area. But then, my circumstances aren't going to give me much choice. I just have been sooo depressed and not knowing where to turn for help or what to do. :( I just wanted to thank you. Any words of encouragement or support would be much appreciated.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2006
Mon, 01-16-2006 - 3:16pm

Free Application for Student Federal Aid. I do understand your fear. I have no idea how I'm gonna do it. Mt stbx keeps telling me that he will help me out but I'll believe that when monkeys fly out his butt.

As for the living together, for the longest time I just tried to act like everything was just like it always had been. I don't wan to put anymore stress on the kids. Although this weekend i realized it's a bad situation and I have to get my kids and I out of it. I can't go on acting like everything is great and we can be friends. All that is doing is hurting me and my kids. I have no idea how I'm gonna do it but I'm about it jump feet first into the single with kids life and figure it out as I go. No matter how long I wait I'll still have the same fears I do now. I know that God will provide and everything will be fine through my faith in Him. I know he will do the same for you! Good luck, hon. Let us know how your doing.