putting my story out
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| Wed, 07-09-2008 - 8:33pm |
Okay so I think it is time I let this all out. I have hinted and given small details about what is going on but never really told the whole story. Right now I am a ball of nerves because my counseling starts tomorrow. I know I need to talk to someone and get all this out but it’s a huge step for me so I am a bit nervous. So I am going to thank you now for reading this because I’m sure it will be long.
In November DH brought home a new car and wanted to buy it, problem was I knew we couldn’t afford it. It turned into a huge fight because I thought he was buying the first thing he found, from a friend who worked at this car dealership. I tried to explain to him we should go look around, we could find something a little cheaper. He disagreed with this and was like no you don’t understand his friend was giving him a deal. I was 100% against the car. He proceeded to argue with me. Well I am a teacher and I had grades I was working on and got pulled into our fight. I work in the city and my class is 100% African Americans. He had the nerve to say you care more about those “n word” then you do me. Wow did I take offense to that. I mean my 22 students are like my own kids. And how could he say I care more about them. This was coming from the man who had not slept in bed with me in months. He would be getting in bed when I was waking up or would have fallen asleep on the couch playing his video games. I tried so many times to beg him to sleep in bed with me and he couldn’t. I would get excuses like I have a clan match or I’m busy with this game. I was in a marriage where I did not emotionally have a husband. So this comment about my students was the last straw. I left I went for a drive. I couldn’t look at him the same no matter how much he apologized. So I did something stupid a few days later. I was over a friend’s house and a coworker of mine called to see how I was doing, he knew my husband and I were still fighting. We were also having some trouble with other people at work. So I went over his house and we talked and watched a movie. I feel asleep. He didn’t wake me up. I was dumb I should have gone home. So apparently my mother called information and got this coworkers number and called looking for me in the morning. I went home to my very upset husband and I couldn’t justify what happened.

There is one element missing from this.
******************************************* “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over againI have to agree with wellhonestlynow.
Hi!
I read your story and had to reply. First of all, I think you need to know (and understand, too) that you are NOT a bad person. Your husband is NOT a bad person. Things happen, relationships change. We are not victims or villains, we are just co-conspirators when it comes to turning a marriage into something bad.
Second, I think your husband is just as confused as you are. And though he is "seeing" this person, it may not end up as something serious. Is he willing to go to marriage counseling? I ask because if he is, then - at least on some level - it shows he is willing to work on things. Doesn't mean it will work out, but it might. Obviously, things were NOT good in your marriage (don't foget that! sometimes it is easy to forget the crap!), and things would need to change to move forward anyway.
I am in a situation where I am separated from my husband
Stephanie
Awaiting Baby #1 (9*7*08)
Stephanie
Taylor Logan Born September 4th 9:09 pm 8 lbs 1 oz 21.75 in
Awesome! I'm glad. :)
It is so hard, and it takes time, but ultimately, what will be will be. And I'm happy to hear he's thinking about it. Just set it up with mine. SO GLAD he's willing to do individual, too! LOL