Question about "Birdnesting"

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2003
Question about "Birdnesting"
2
Fri, 06-29-2007 - 12:31pm
I saw a piece on a news magazine a while ago about a couple who were divorcing/divorced and both had jobs where they traveled a lot and decided to keep the kids in one house while they rotated out of an apt. that they "shared." There was also an article in the NYTimes a while ago (tried to find it, but don't have a subscription). My stbx and I are struggling with the housing arrangements as neither of us can afford more than a small-ish apt. and we have 3 teen-age boys who need the space of the "main" house. Plus, we thought this might be a good answer in an effort to disrupt the kids as little as possible. Stbx and I both travel some for our work, but not a lot.
What are your thoughts on this? Anyone tried it? We are trying to get this settled as soon as possible so we can tell the kids. We already have a lease on an apt...
Please let me know.
Thanks,
L
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2003
Fri, 06-29-2007 - 5:14pm

I think it's a great idea if you can manage it.

Myself, I couldn't do it because I'd feel like I was never settled anywhere. Are you and your STBX thinking of sharing the apartment and taking turns in it? I would think that may pose some potential problems depending on how well you get along and how much you can trust one another.

It may be worth a try even if it doesn't work out long term. Let us know how it works for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
Fri, 06-29-2007 - 6:22pm

In the literature I have read (and I have read alot) "nesting" is an admirable thing and ideal, especially for young children, and probably for families like yours. It can be very challenging for the adults, but again, the literature says, "hey, now you know what it is like for kids to be shuttled between homes."

Key is the X spouses ability to get along and to share two spaces. Can you really cooperated to that extent?

In my stbx's case he was unable to consider sharing space (an apt) with me. One of his big issues is he wants to live like a total slob and is tired of trying to keep a civil home.

So, if you all can get along -- do it!

GL!

M