question about the house

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2006
question about the house
2
Mon, 03-19-2007 - 12:12pm

Iknow these things can go either way but just wondered about the experiences of others.

BTW. my H and I have only been married about 2 1/2 yrs, I have 3 kids from a prior marriage and no kids together.

My H and I purchased a house about 6 months before we married.. purchased in dec, married the following June. It was in both out names however I put the downpayment down on the house. It was from the sale of another house of mine.

In the event of our inevitable D I'm wondering how this "could" go. I have to sell the house as i cannot afford to keep it myself. However, My H and I have seperate bank accounts and I'm the one that has always paid the mortgage on the house. I am HOPING that a judge would not force us to split the equity..

I really cannot afford an attorney (especially at this point when I'm really struggling) but I've talked to a couple of people and they said that.. the downpayment I provided could be considered a "gift to the marriage" and therefore the house is equally ours. OR the judge could say that since I'm the one that put down the downpayment and has made all the mortgage payments that when the house is sold the equity is mine??

My H is an alcoholic and is verbally abusive. His family has never seen him drunk and basically most people think he is just so perfect. It would devastate him for his family to find out what kind of person he is when he drinks. I just so happen to have a journal that he was keeping where he talks about my daughter and I in some very foul language, calls us sl*ts, says he hates us.. etc. I have a feeling he would not be happy if the abuse that he has been putting us through in the last 6-8 months would be brought up in a trial. I'm wondering is that type of emotional abuse, threats etc. can be factored in decisions? or maybe they are only interested in physical abuse when it comes to who gets what?

I know that it may vary depending on the judge etc. but I was just wondering what the experiences of others may be.

Thanks...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Mon, 03-19-2007 - 2:47pm
I am sorry to hear about your situation. Because the law differs from state to state I can not say for sure what may happen. Abuse can play a part in the decision on division of property and such. Does he want the house or equity? Who filed? Is the divorce be contested? My X and I were ordered to go to mediation because we could not agree on things. This does cost money for both parties but you do not have to have an attorney present if you can not afford it. If you really want the house, fight for it. Fight for whatever you feel you are entitled to. Most likely an agreement can be made at mediation.
If it were up to me, I'd say the house was yours.
The only thing my husband got was his personal belongings and 18 months of no child support. This was done to cut down on attorney fees plus my X can't keep a job and we thought he may also be going back to jail.
I wish you the best. Take care.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2004
Mon, 03-19-2007 - 3:00pm

I think it depends more on state law and less on the judge. In my state (CA), a down payment can be considered separate property, so you might be entitled to that being returned, the part about it being a gift to the marriage is also true, I have read about that happening. Any increase in value that occurred after you married could be split, but since you have only been married a short time, it might not be that much. If all the equity is due to the downpayment, you might be ok, but be sure you have the purchase records of the current house and the sale info from your previous home. this is one of those situation where an attorney can be very helpful, even an hour consultation might be worthwhile.

M.