Question about responsibility

Avatar for sportsnutmom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Question about responsibility
8
Tue, 12-05-2006 - 11:49am

I'm separated, not yet divorced. My STBX and I are arguing over what he should pay. I did that online caculator for our state and figured out how much he has to pay for child support. Then asked him to pay half of all medical expenses...whatever my insurance doesn't cover. Our youngest also has braces and I asked him to pay half of that bill monthly...he had them before we separated. He says that child support covers all of the expenses for the kids. Meaning he pays his child support and that's it. Nothing else. I pay for their medical and dental insurance. Two of the kids are on daily meds and I pay the co-pays for those monthly. I've been told child support is seperate and he has to pay that plus medical. What is like for your situation? Am I right in asking him to pay this? I mean, it's not like I'm asking him to pay all their medical expenses, it's only half.

Rhonda

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2001
Tue, 12-05-2006 - 12:45pm

You are right...child support is separate. You *need* to get court orders stating x amount of child support PLUS 1/2 medical and dental expenses not covered by insurance, 1/2 extra curriculars, 1/2 daycare, etc. he may even be ordered to pay 1/2 the health insurance (if you are carrying it on the kids).

Speak with your attorney. Get this all in writing!!

How are YOU doing??

Hugs
Deb

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Avatar for sportsnutmom
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-05-2006 - 1:08pm
Hi Deb nice to hear from you! How have you been? How are the boy's? I'm ok, things are rough right now...STBX hurt himself at work, then re-injured it at home. He hasn't paid me a full child support payment in 4 weeks and it's not looking good for the rest of this month. He owes me for other things too. I don't have 2 pennies to rub together let alone the money for an attorney. I was looking online and was thinking about filing for a legal seperation and doing it myself. I know I need all this done legally but I just don't have the money to do it through a lawyer. What do you think, good idea or no?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2001
Tue, 12-05-2006 - 7:49pm

You can file on your own. Go to your courthouse--to the clerk's office. There's paperwork you can fill out. You'll need to send them to your ex via certified mail. First you'll pick out a court date and time-I think this is on the "rule to show cause" form. This gets filled out on the form and you mail it (certified-return receipt) or have it delivered via PI. Then you will write what it is you are hoping for "Child support to be ordered, as well as 1/2 medical, dental, etc". Look online for examples.....

I dont suggest doing it on y our own throughout the duration though. But initially you can do this.

Email me if you have questions....
Deb

The boys are good--oldest will be 13 on Saturday! yikes!! Im ok. Very tired from working alot because I too dont receive child support (yep, still even after he's been in jail). Oh well. the courts have it now.....

Hugs and hang in there!!




Edited 12/5/2006 7:50 pm ET by debs1999
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Avatar for momtojoeybear
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-05-2006 - 9:29pm

My divorce decree states that I get child support and that I am responsible for health insurance for Joey. That being said, there is a clause in there stating that xh will pay for half of all medical bills--half the co-pay, half the perscription, half the whatever, but, knowing that he is less than good with money, I pay the doctors and then get reimbursed, but truly, I haven't bothered in a long time--not that my son has had a major medical expense like braces, but its just not worth the hassle of notifying him and then getting angry and upset when he doesn't pay, because he's 9K back in child support, I don't see him forking over anything additional anytime soon... and it just gives me a level of peace that I don't have that stress or fight...

So in my case (and in most cases) CS and medical expenses are treated separately--and if he doesn't like it, tough...

Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Wed, 12-06-2006 - 4:12am

Yep - child support is the monthly payment to cover current and normal expenses..

you may like read this
http://family-law.lawyers.com/child-support/Child-Support.html
http://www.divorcenet.com/states/new_jersey/child_support_extraordinary_expenses

of course, the last one concerns only New Jersey, but but other states have similar approach...

I am no lawyer, but it looks to me like you are as good as gold... now it is a matter of go and get it!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2004
Wed, 12-06-2006 - 6:21am
I have filed for divorce without a lawyer. I have 2 children one is 13 and one is 17. The cost of a lawyer was a minimum of $1500.00. And since my husband walked out on us (well didn't walk out - just never came home from work) in September he hasn't given me a penny. I can't pay for anything extra - my parents are paying all of his part of the bills. And this is the 3rd month they have done so. In my divorce papers, I typed in $150.00 a week. He couldn't be served by papers - since he couldn't be found - so we did the divorce by publication. It ran in the legal organ paper of our county for 4 weeks. This cost me $80.00 It is through running in the paper and my court date is January 8th. My husband is now in the next town with a 22 year old from across the country. He is working - but his license is going to be suspended December 27th because of a fine he didn't pay in August (why does it take so long). I have no way to let him know - I got the certified letter. He is a truck driver. His personal vehicle was repossessed last Tuesday. So if he loses his job for not having a license - I don't know how he will travel at all...and why should I care? Anyway I have no idea whatsoever if the judge will leave the child support in or not. I pray that they do...I doubt that child support in Georgia will ever be able to catch up with him this is his 6th job this year. Just thought I would let you know that you can file - we don't have a waiting period in Georgia - well maybe 30 days. But since mine was by publication - it was 60 days from the date of the original papers I went and filed. Just thought I'd let you know how I"m doing it- but like I said I don't know about the child support - I also typed in the papers that I would carry the insurance but he was responsible for all co-pays, and 1/2 of every medical bill insurance doesn't cover. If the judge leaves it in...I don't know if child support office would enforce it or not.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Wed, 12-06-2006 - 12:26pm

I still think that you should be able legally to request the money.. but the problem is rather, if he does not have it, he will not be able to pay it. In a federal country, it is difficult to follow up for child support - lots of guys prefer to disappear (I'll never understand!!!).

I really hope for you that you will find a good solution.

Avatar for momtojoeybear
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-06-2006 - 9:50pm

Hey Gal...

I'm in GA too... have you filed for enforcement? If he's working, taxes are likely being pulled out somewhere and last year I did get my xh's tax refund, courtesy of the IRS--even if he's job hopping, I would still file...

Good Luck!

Julie