Question about working and SAHM

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2004
Question about working and SAHM
2
Thu, 10-05-2006 - 5:45pm
Hi,
I have been a SAHM since my 4 year old son was born. I went to college for about 2.5 years, but then got pregnant and we decided to get married. Well, we both agreed we thought it was best I stayed home with the baby since I didnt make much money anyway and my paycheck would pay for daycare. I always wanted to go back to college and get my degree, but that was put on the back burner. We then decided to have another child when our son was 2. My STBX always made very good money, so that was never an issue, so we figured why not if I could stay home, I should do it.
So, now here I am with a 4 year old and an 11 month old and still no college degree, and my husband has left me for another woman. I really want to get my bachelors, but I will have to go back to work as soon as the judge orders it. SO, that will be hard working, going to school and caring for 2 young children. I was thinking about going to a technical school,just so I can make more than $8/hr, then go back for my bachelors. Any BTDT that can give me advice? Thanks!:)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2003
Thu, 10-05-2006 - 8:48pm

If BTDT can mean "been there, doing that" then I can relate. I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old, have been a SAHM since getting pg with DS #1, and am now in school. At this time I am still living in the same house as my STBX, simply because I have yet to find a place to live that is in the right location and affordable. But the move is imminent.

My lawyer strongly encouraged me to get registered in school prior to starting separation proceedings. I'm in Canada, and I'm sure that makes some difference, but I'm sure you can count on child support, spousal support and potentially assistance with any student debt that accrues while you are in school. I figure, at the very least I should be able to manage being a full time student and thus being able to be with the kids a decent percentage of the time until they are both in school full days. By then I should be done my Master's degree and be able to go back to the work force full time without working solely to pay a sitter. And as a "cushion" of sorts I can always look into taking out student loans if needed, though I am trying to avoid that.

Look into all of your options. If you do have to go back to work, Im' certain there are distance courses or web based courses that could make it easier for you to complete your education. You need to do what it takes to reach the goal of completing your degree.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2004
Fri, 10-06-2006 - 1:41am

Hi there, I am a mother of three kids in the age of 4, 6, and 8, work full-time and also a full-time college student... You will be amazed how much you can accomplish, even though I totally exhausted myself last week...

Anyway, there are college grants for single moms. I just filed for a divorce, and have not looked into it, so I do not have further info. But it does exist. There are also companies that pay part of employee's college education. Ask the company during the interview. They would like the fact that you want to improve yourself anyway.

You should speak to an attorney if college degree could be a disadvantage from obtaining spousal support. Good luck!