Question @ divorce & medical bills

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
Question @ divorce & medical bills
3
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 3:22pm

. OK, kids went to the dentist. The balance after insurance is 311.48 The dentist has been sending ex the bills since March and he has paid nothing. He just emailed me and wrote.

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The divorce papers do say….. “All health care expenses not covered by insurance shall be paid equally by the parties. The party submitting such expense for reimbursement or payment shall be paid within 30 days of presenting documentation of expense”………

So he wants me to pay the whole balance directly to the dentist and then send him the receipt and he will reimburse me 50%, instead of just paying the dentist his 50% and be done with it. But the sentence says “The party submitting such expense for reimbursement OR PAYMENT shall be paid within 30 days of presenting documentation of expense, not just reimbursement. So if I pay my 50% and then present him with documentation of my payment, then I should expect his payment of the other 50% within 30 days? Right? I don’t think this has to be this difficult. We both owe 50%, let’s just pay it. Who cares if he writes the check to me or the dentist, just pay it.

What do you think? This is the first time anything has come up like this since the divorce, so I’m not sure how to handle it and I don’t feel like paying my attorney $$150 an hour to answer this question. Thanks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 4:38pm

Do you trust him to pay you? If so, no skull sweat required. Pay the dentist. But if he has behaved shiftily in the past, pay the dentist half and show him proof. I agree with your interpretation, and think that any Court would find it perfectly reasonable for you to pay the dentist half.

Of course, the dentist should not be left in the middle of this struggle. Or you won't have a dentist much longer, LOL! Pay at least half, asap.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 5:04pm

No, I don't trust him at all!! I have been burned too many times before, like.... “if you put the Christmas gifts from Santa on your credit card and I'll pay you back for half"... he didn't (eventually in court he did though), or "can you keep me on your car insurance and I'll pay you?" He didn't.... I cancelled him but not before paying for him a few months here and there, it added up and I eventually got that back in court too (I keep track of all that kind of stuff), so no I don't trust him.

Besides that, the divorce papers also say that he is responsible for 100% of the travel expenses for the children to visit him (he lives in another state), so one time he asked me to drive half way to save him airfare, I said ok but could he pay for my gas (it's about a 4 hour drive there and back, so eight hours of driving in my 16mpg vehicle) he said no. I disputed this and said "with the money you are saving in airfare and I'm doing you a favor so you can save that money, could you at least pay for my gas"? Still he said "no, because I do not agree with those arrangements, I only agreed to it at the divorce table just to get the divorce finalized but I think you should pay for half of the travel expenses and I do not agree with our agreement". Well..... sorry..... next time you shouldn't sign legal papers that you do not agree with. So just b/c the divorce papers say one thing, in his mind he does other things, I guess risking that I will not take him back to court. How does that work anyway, if he does not follow with the terms, say this dentist thing or he keeps the children longer than he is supposed to over the summer, what do I do? What is the procedure for that kind of stuff? Letters from attorneys with threats? Any-who, thanks for replying

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 5:28pm

Oh, now I see! He is trying to screw you yet again. A little sport for psychos. Pay half, send the paperwork to him, and pray that your dentist is a patient person. Ultimately you will have to pay it, I am guessing.

Each time you send him a request for reimbursement, you might consider doing it Certified Mail with Return Receipt. Depending upon local laws, old debts may disappear (uncollectable) unless you can show that you clearly demanded payment. Many custodial parents are living lives un-reimbursed, LOL! You save up the reimbursable charges until they make up a healthy lump, and then file a motion for Contempt, bring all your proof into the Court, and the Court will order that he pay. Of course, in some cases even a court order ain't worth beans. But if/when the debt gets high enough, you may be able to place a lien on his house, or get a chunk of each of his social security checks...

It may take 30 years... So in the meantime, tighten your belt and thank heavens the kids at least have YOU.