Question regarding sleeping with stbx

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2004
Question regarding sleeping with stbx
7
Fri, 01-19-2007 - 8:13pm
As I have posted on here before my husband had left me and I filed for divorce - very fast. I did this without talking to him. We are now in the process of reconciling...The divorce was scheduled for the 8th of January and I had it postponed until the 24th. Someone told me that it is illegal in the state of Georgia (or contempt of court or something) if you sleep with your stbx. Is this true? I am probably going to stop the divorce proceedings before Thursday anyway -- but I have searced everywhere on the internet and have been unable to find the answer to this question. I am not using a lawyer - so I don't have a lawyer to ask.
Avatar for momtojoeybear
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 01-19-2007 - 8:21pm

I'm in GA and haven't heard of this law, but I don't know that I would recommend it unless you're sure you're calling off the proceedings... otherwise, it may complicate matters a bit more...

However, if things are looking up for the two of you, I'm thrilled for ya... Good luck and keep us posted!

Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2006
Sat, 01-20-2007 - 10:34am
I agree with the other poster that it would probably be best to not do that right now. However, if you do (or did), HOW WILL ANYONE KNOW?? :) Seems like a little breach of privacy to me (if it really IS a law).
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2006
Sat, 01-20-2007 - 3:18pm
I cant imagine that being against the law. The injunction I think that is the right word, from the judge says not to harrass each other etc. or you could be charged with contempt of court. I wouldnt call sex harrassment unless he was blackmailing you or trying to force you or ha , vise a versa
I am going through the same stuff. All the sudden my stbx is not talking to her so he says.
we have decided to postpone our divorce. I dont know if its a good idea or not. He thinks he was just trying to re live his youth. But the fact they had planned on getting together in a year and half when she was planning to leave her husband .......makes me not trust him. I hope that he isnt just using me to stay in the marital house longer.
what do we do? I too jumped into the filing the divorce I was sooo angry.
I think you are not finding the information online because I doubt there is a law against having sex between two adults. If you arent sure I would call the courthouse and ask them.
good luck with whatever you do. Divorce is so final. I think here we have like 90 days or six months or something to postpone going before the judge. but of course all states are different. anyway divorce is so final, I mean if you divorce and marry again that is just expensive. you can always do it later and its so much cheaper to do it yourself. or just get a kit to fill out.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2004
Sat, 01-20-2007 - 7:39pm
Thank you so much for your comments - that is really so true - like how would they know - I think the word they use is cohabitation. And yes I guess we have been cohabitating....even though I never thought it would happen....I do think I am going to cancel the divorce - at least it didn't cost to much - $77.00 to file and $80.00 to have it published in the paper (not to mention the embarrassment to my family & his) if we lived in a big city that probably wouldn't be a problem - but in a small town everyone knows everyones business. I would strongly suggest that people not jump into filing out of anger - maybe that is why some states require a waiting period.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2006
Sun, 01-21-2007 - 3:53am
It use to be that in our state you had to have lived apart for a certain period of time before you could even file. LOL not so anymore. in fact you can even be living together and file.
what adults do in privacy is no ones business and definately not in the courts lol
I am so confused. so confused. I am scared to put the divorce on hold. I am scared that I will stay with him another year or so and then he goes with her or with someone else.
How do you build the trust back. He wont give me many details about the affair. He seems to dislike saying bad things about her when I ask him what the bad is.
I told him he was spose to betray her to me now and tell me all the details but he wont. so does that mean he respects her?
here I am venting again. I have a week to decide for sure if I want to go through with this.
what urks me is he said when we were arguing that he had been planning a divorce for three years ,.......long before he found her again and that he had been browsing yahoo personals.
I just dont know what to do. I hate all this stuff. maybe I could just go ahead with the divorce and end it all. I wouldnt have to wonder anymore if he loved me or not as it wouldnt be an issue if we divorce again.
I am so tired of all his crazy making over the years. he says it was me and I say it was him so who knows.
we paid 500 as decided to get an attorney this time to make it easier.
I think I am darned if I do and darned if I dont you know!
yes you arent out much money so yes cancel it and you can always do it again someday if things go bad.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2004
Sun, 01-21-2007 - 5:09pm
I know this is so hard -- but I have just got to step out on faith - I have not felt comfortable about the divorce any of the time. I really do think that I rushed and filed out of pure madness. 12 years ago I did the same thing - but then my daddy took me to a lawyer and we actually paid for a divorce and then I didn't sign the papers. I think that is the reason my parents would have nothing to do with me filing this time. At least this time I am only out the $77.00 and the $80.00 to have it published. We went out in public together for the first time a few minutes ago - we went to Wal-mart --- I sort of felt funny - "like everyone was looking at me" but I know that wasn't true - like I said we are from a very small town -- and everyone talks about everyone - todays news will be old tomorrow. I think my daddy let my husband have it today - and he deserved too - because they have been picking up all of his slack - but they are all o.k. now...I haven't told them I am canceling the divorce - but they probably know. I really love my husband so much - don't know why - but I do - I guess 25 years together is one reason. He is going to try and get a local job...it will be hard to do without a vehicle (his was repo'd) but I think not being on the road in a truck will help a lot - and he really needs to be home every night helping me deal with a 13 1/2 year old boy! Not to mention we have a daughter who will graduate in May - go off to be a counselor at camp and then off to college...he missed the 1st part of her senior year he needs to be here for the 2nd. I asked him what you said about "why don't you say anything bad about the other woman - in my husbands case it was a girl 22 years old". She goes from one truck driver to another I think. I guess she found out that my husband really has nothing without us - no home, no vehicle,no clothes, no stability, what would she want with someone with no job and old enough to be her daddy. Heck what do I want with someone like that...no just joking - it is a sad situation but I do feel that the Lord is leading me in the right direction and I hope my family is on the mend. And for all the people that will be talking behind my back or to my face....well it could be them---people just never think so!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2006
Sun, 01-21-2007 - 7:49pm

You know perhaps things will go very well now for your family! Yes 25 years together creates a very strong bond. I too am having a hard time trying to hang on and I just figured well........we have paid for the divorce....we should go through with it. We can always get married again I told him LOL or live together. At least when he tells me how stupid I am or tells me about his affair to damage my emotional well being I can show him the door. if he is here lol. I am pretty mad and bitter and actually picture myself having an affair with him after he marries her. but of course that makes me as evil as she is LOL
My son was glad I was going to go through with it still. He said well mom at least you will be away from the abuse. It was so subtle and sneaky, but none less damaging.
At least this way I will get the house and I am afraid if we divorce later instead of now that he will have talked me into selling this house and I dont want that.

gal If I were you I would never ever worry a lick about what anyone in your town thinks of you. Doesnt matter what we do people will talk. I heard a great saying in fact it is the title of a book, very good reading:
"What Other People Think Of Me Is None Of My Business"

but I am an odd one. I do not let society dictate how I live my life. I work for myself and I try to think for myself ........but of course I have been brainwashed in this relationship. I dont go to church and I am soooo much more honorable and a good person than his skank lover who is active in her church.

If you cancel this divorce dont feel bad or like there is something wrong with you. I married this man three times, divorced twice and I even filed once in between where I didnt go to court.
I am thinking if I am going to have anything to do with my imbalanced relationship that we should not ever marry just live together if that is what I want at the time According to statistics my spouse will NOT change so I have to base things on that.
anyway I was going to say hey dont worry about it. You can always get the do it yourself kit again. but save the one you have so you have all the details in there. keep it handy it will give you a feeling of empowerment!

I hope the best of luck to you and keep coming back here even when things go well so you can share your story with us!