Quick update- Staying STRONG!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Quick update- Staying STRONG!!!
3
Thu, 10-11-2007 - 3:54pm

(where is the Ironman icon??) ;)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2007
Thu, 10-11-2007 - 8:12pm

Thanks for posting an update Rebecca... I've been thinking of you and Averey... I'm glad to hear that you're getting help from the DV advocate.

 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2007
Sun, 10-14-2007 - 9:29am

Holy, deja vu! Your X sounds so much like mine!

He is on meds for depression. He was left alone all the time. Absentee Dad (who chose work over family) and loony, passive-aggressive Mom. Poor guys is a mess. He started seeing a therapist for his social anxiety/depression but I know that he's stopped...his spending is out of control and I've just moved forward with divorce proceedings, just so I can either get him to stop spending or he doesn't drag us all into the poorhouse...

He needs to also make the choice to go back to counseling, as when we get to the visitation (with the kids) I'm really nervous to leave them alone with him at his apt....

Anyway, I feel for you.
Juli

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Sun, 10-14-2007 - 3:16pm

BUT, he is now an adult, with ALL kinds of help offered to him, but he has to make the choice to make the attempt to be the parent his never were - & instead, he is just repeating the crappy cycle.


You know, Rebecca, you're right. You can NOT use the past as an excuse if you refuse to get help. I tend to be overly empathetic. As long as someone is trying to get better (ie, counseling, meds, etc.), I have a lot of patience. I had a very difficult childhood, so I understand what it's like to have serious family issues. In order to heal, I HAD to get help! Your ex needs it, too. His excuses are meaningless until he actually makes an effort to get well. Stick to your guns!

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