Rant - communication

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Rant - communication
6
Tue, 07-10-2007 - 6:11pm
Why does the person that wants out of the relationship not know how to talk? To express their feelings? Come on! If my STBX had actually had the balls to sit down with me and tell me what was wrong, what he was feeling, that he was thinking he wanted out.... This would be going a LOT smoother right now! Don't just jump on your spouse and say Hey, I don't love you anymore, It's over! wtf?? I really wish people would learn to communicate better. Is it because somewhere in the back of their head they really don't want to hurt us?
Well let me tell you, it's worse when you hold things from us! So if you are here because you are thinking of leaving your spouse, don't be like my STBX, give them the courtesy of a good explaination, not just some BS about how it's all their fault. Unless of course your STBX is abusive or something, they don't deserve anything.
Just my rant for the day!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2007
Tue, 07-10-2007 - 8:33pm
I don't have much to add to your rant but "here, here!!" That is one of the things that makes me so irate. My stbxh apparently had felt he wasn't in love with me for months prior to dropping the bomb. Gee, thanks for letting me know. I have felt so ridiculous that I never noticed it but if he's not going to talk to me how am I supposed to know? I'm not a mindreader!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
Tue, 07-10-2007 - 8:51pm

Un huhn! Yep. Mine went to multiple marriage counselors with me, but basically just went along for the ride, I guess.

Wouldn't have saved my marriage I don't think at this point, but I wish I hadn't put in all that effort trying to save something he didn't value enough to lift his head of the back of the chair for.

Meg

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2007
Tue, 07-10-2007 - 8:55pm

Another "amen sister" here. Mine couldn't believe I didn't see it coming. Excuse me - you never said you were unhappy and you "can't put into words how I feel" - so how was I supposed to see that coming?

Perhaps you are confusing me with your woman on the side to whom you must have been telling all of this!

Sorry to hijack your rant. Amen Sister.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2007
Tue, 07-10-2007 - 10:07pm
Ah yes, I'm pretty sure the younger woman on the side was there to console my husband through all of this. What a sweetheart. Remind me to thank her later....ugh
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2007
Tue, 07-10-2007 - 10:10pm
She'll get her own consolation - from the guy she dumps my husband for!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 07-11-2007 - 2:07pm
OMG, don't even get me started about the OW! Must be sooo nice to have a back up! I can just imagine all the crap he has been telling her about me and I'm sure she is just SO sympathetic! Or is that pathetic? :)