? Re: child Custody/Divorce
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| Fri, 08-03-2007 - 9:41am |
My H and I are going through a really nasty divorce. This has been an ongoing thing for over 2 years. When we first seperated, I agreed to an outragous custody agreement because I was very afraid of him. Now that the divorce is in the process, my lawyer is trying to get it changed. We went infront of the judge and we are now going to trial. Circumstances have changed a lot in regards to the kids and I am only trying to change it during the school year. It will remain what it is now when they are on breaks and summer vacation. The judge said that if we are unable to come to an agreement by Monday, one of us may walk out of the trial with soul custody. I have been the involved parent, he abuses alcohol (denies that abuse) and did an affidavit of 49 things "bad" about me. However, more than 90% of that is lies. My kids are the world to me and I am very nervous about a trial. I have no idea what it involves or anything. I have already done up my witness list which consist of a few friends, his ex-girlfriend (who wants to testify), doctors, school officals, and other special needs teachers. (one of our children is handicapped) We are unable to talk at all regarding anything because he yells and swears at me consitently. Can anyone give me words of advice, personal expierences, anything. I am not sure if I should just drop this because I don't want him to end up with custody. everyone says I have nothing to worry about, but like I said, my kids are everything to me.
Thanks.

Hi there broken,
Hugs to you, i'm sure this is very sressfull and painful.
If you have school officials/teachers that are WILLING!!!! to testify on your behalf, you are in good shape.
(Sometimes certain witnesses declare that if they are called upon to testify, they will be hostile to that person. Have any of your witnesses made such a statement? Have you explicitly inquired of your witnesses of their willingness to testify on your behalf and what they are likely to say?)
Once you are on the cusp of a trial, both plaintif and defendant have had a bit of time in front of the judge (and their magistrate if your jurisdiction does that). If reasonable offers have been made and rejected, the judge will recognize that, and typically get pissed off at the unreasonable one.
The key questions now are
-- have visitation orders been followed to date?
-- have support payments been made to date?
-- have either of the parents been to jail within the time period of the divorce action? Are any felonies involved?
-- Has child support services been called to either parents house to investiage claims of abuse?
-- Are you under the impression that the judge perceives you as a clearly deficient or imcompetent parent? Or that you have been lying? (You would probably know by know.)
I would suspect that on Monday, if no agreement is reached, the judge will take everyone in chambers one more time and directly mediate. If that fails, the judge will probably let the more offensive parent know they are facing a loss at trial.
If trial is imminent, then both parties have been through discovery, so you should be awareof all information that will be presented.
Good luck.
We have had our time in front of the judge. It seems like this has been going on forever. Most of my witnesses are doctors/school/therapist. None of them have said they would be hostile or anything. They were just going to speak of what happened in his home while our children where there. 2 of my witnesses are to prove some of his affidavite wrong such as time. My former boss will be one just for the fact of the allegation of time. He usually follows visitation. He does cancel and it is always at last minute, but I wouldn't call it often. No one has been jailed, but he did have a child abuse case brought against him because our son went to school stating that "daddy" hit him. It was unfounded. he is always behind on child support, but because his employer neglects to send it in. He has rejected our offer which will only effect him while the kids are in school. The only thing he did agree on were the grounds for divorce which was cruel and inhumane treatment. I have no indication from the judge about me, he actually told the H that he was walking a fine line. I just am very nervous. It is all new to me. Thank you for your reply. I just wish he would agree to put the children's best intrest first.
broken