re- intro and ????
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re- intro and ????
| Sun, 12-17-2006 - 6:18pm |
Hello, i have been on this site but i think i haven't posted anything in a while so i decided to do so today...
Long story short- from the bigining... i am 24 years old, have a 16 month old and im due with my second daughter in a couple od days. Oh i am also a few weeks away from finalizing my divorce. Got married when i was 21 or 22 (lol) everything was as perfect to me as i wanted it! that soon changed when we started having issues and boy did they get big! fought alot, found out he cheated, told me he never loved me in the first place, and that he wanted a divorce! ofcourse... i tried to save my family, went to counseling alone that didnt help at all. had a huge altercation ended up going to jail for "fighting" with my husband according to his mother! charges got dropped ofcourse but had to fight to get custody since the whole ordeal came up. i ended up getting what i wanted and things with my "husband" were horrible we wouldnt talk and it was just hell but that only lasted a few months. i decided to just "let go" of what him and his mother had done to me and things were cordial. Now things are just well i don't know what to call them really. He started calling me everyday 4-5 times a day. on his breaks, lunches on his way home from work. just seemed like every free minute he had we would spend on the phone.he has taken me out to lunch as well a few times. i think from that you can collect that i never stopped loving him even after eveyrhting which is crazy! He even asked me if i wanted to go out before i delivered. things were "ok" in my fantasy world lol. People think im crazy to be so friendly towards him after everything he put me through but i just cant help it! He has talked about maybe in a while tryig it out again and making things very diffrent than before, wich to me sounds great.. i get to be with him and keep my family together but my family would be so dissapointed! they don't really like him too much anymore lol. am i crazy to feel and think this way???
some of my family memebers who helped me while the whole crazy incident was happening have told me that if he shows up at the hospital when the baby is born they will not be there! i want them all there... i had to tell him that he was not allowed in the delivery room (as much as i would want him in there) and he was pretty upset... but recently told me that he can't see me stressed out about it so that he will wait in the waiting room since eveyrone thinks he shouldnt be present in the delivery. the reason they dont think he shouldn't be there is because... 1. because of what they put me through 2. becuase he had a "date" the night we were suppossed to talk about baby names 3. he hasen't given me money , he says because he doesn't have any. he was in school and had to leave work to be able to get things done... and recently started him job again 4. becuase were not together anymore. i think that just because we arent togetehr is wrong to keep him away, sure he could of done alot more while i was pregnant but i believe him when he says that he will be here when she is born like with our toddler. he's great with her!
he's a good father to her! and yeah he souldnt of canceled with me when we were gonna choose a baby name to go on a date that didnt even work out! so for that i took his naming privalages away. he understood so i dunno.. am i just making excuses for him? am i crazy to want him to be in the delivery room? any advise would be great!!!
sorry it was sooo long , i had to get it out!!!
Long story short- from the bigining... i am 24 years old, have a 16 month old and im due with my second daughter in a couple od days. Oh i am also a few weeks away from finalizing my divorce. Got married when i was 21 or 22 (lol) everything was as perfect to me as i wanted it! that soon changed when we started having issues and boy did they get big! fought alot, found out he cheated, told me he never loved me in the first place, and that he wanted a divorce! ofcourse... i tried to save my family, went to counseling alone that didnt help at all. had a huge altercation ended up going to jail for "fighting" with my husband according to his mother! charges got dropped ofcourse but had to fight to get custody since the whole ordeal came up. i ended up getting what i wanted and things with my "husband" were horrible we wouldnt talk and it was just hell but that only lasted a few months. i decided to just "let go" of what him and his mother had done to me and things were cordial. Now things are just well i don't know what to call them really. He started calling me everyday 4-5 times a day. on his breaks, lunches on his way home from work. just seemed like every free minute he had we would spend on the phone.he has taken me out to lunch as well a few times. i think from that you can collect that i never stopped loving him even after eveyrhting which is crazy! He even asked me if i wanted to go out before i delivered. things were "ok" in my fantasy world lol. People think im crazy to be so friendly towards him after everything he put me through but i just cant help it! He has talked about maybe in a while tryig it out again and making things very diffrent than before, wich to me sounds great.. i get to be with him and keep my family together but my family would be so dissapointed! they don't really like him too much anymore lol. am i crazy to feel and think this way???
some of my family memebers who helped me while the whole crazy incident was happening have told me that if he shows up at the hospital when the baby is born they will not be there! i want them all there... i had to tell him that he was not allowed in the delivery room (as much as i would want him in there) and he was pretty upset... but recently told me that he can't see me stressed out about it so that he will wait in the waiting room since eveyrone thinks he shouldnt be present in the delivery. the reason they dont think he shouldn't be there is because... 1. because of what they put me through 2. becuase he had a "date" the night we were suppossed to talk about baby names 3. he hasen't given me money , he says because he doesn't have any. he was in school and had to leave work to be able to get things done... and recently started him job again 4. becuase were not together anymore. i think that just because we arent togetehr is wrong to keep him away, sure he could of done alot more while i was pregnant but i believe him when he says that he will be here when she is born like with our toddler. he's great with her!
he's a good father to her! and yeah he souldnt of canceled with me when we were gonna choose a baby name to go on a date that didnt even work out! so for that i took his naming privalages away. he understood so i dunno.. am i just making excuses for him? am i crazy to want him to be in the delivery room? any advise would be great!!!
sorry it was sooo long , i had to get it out!!!

First off...
How long were seperated for?
Was he still living with you?
I believe everyone deserves a second chance. Just make sure you can fully forgive him for what he has done to you. If you can't, then all you will do is argue and probably split up again. He is the father of your children and I know you want it to work. I am in the same boat, only my ex left me and has given up on me and our 2 young kids. I would sit him down and talk about everything. Even seek counseling.
Let me know hoe everything is going.
-Andrea