re-introductions...
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| Sun, 11-12-2006 - 3:33pm |
Hello - I am not new, but I am not old either... I've been lurking and posting now and then for years - litterally.
now it looks some things are kicking into gears, and I know I'll be back more frequently, to say hi and relax.
my story: I moved out 4 yrs ago, when it appeared evident that my ex was seeing regularly the baby sitter - and not on the playground area. Note that moving out meant moving back to Europe from the US, and getting back a job, which I did seamlessly.
we never bothered to sign any separation nor went through a divorce - we had a quite nice relationship up to now - we have some financial common holdings. Now the babysitter wants to get married, and she is pushing him to play hard and try to exclude me from all is mine.
It isn't legal, but I know the process will be unpleasant, particularly as I live so far away. I wonder if I should file fast here, or wait or what.

Hi! Good to see you. I recall seeing your postings on-and-off and wondered how you were.
As for filing...at a minimum, I would contact an attorney to see what they have to say.
Thanks Justice...
I have an appointment with a layer here - I am in Europe, and he is in the US. Depending on the locale of the filing, many things may change: the scope of the divorce, how money will be handled, but also how easy it is to be present to court - if it is in the US, I will be travelling or risking not to be present at crucial hearings, and vice-versa.
Here where I am, the whole process is not dependent on guilt - it would be more painless (my favorite way). I would also probably get less money, but that is not the biggest issue. In the US it could get nasty - court catfights - and I find that revolting.
Lets see what my attorney will suggest.
Hi there~
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
An update....
I saw my lawyer last friday. I was very well prepared (had already print-outs and numbers for most our assets, some missing on STBX side of course) and totally un-emotional (funny how even 4 years of separations don't take out the heartbreak of actually starting the process for good, at least for me), and I had prepared a proposal of how properties should be split and custody awarded.
Well, lawyer said I had all right. Should have been a lawyer myself, I thought!!! anyway. we are extremely similar in earning, but most properties are still in ex hands - all will be split 50-50. That is good. Child support of course, with a number suggestion. Proceedings can go on in Europe where I live, or in the US, and wherever the procedure get started, that is where it has to be completed. I would prefere EU, simply for my own comfort.
Luckily I've seen the lawyer!!! Then, Sunday, before leaving (ex was visiting our home in EU for DD bday), ex brings up divorce papers again - so this time I was ready!!! I told him I would send him a mail, with a proposal of how we should handle, and I described it. He seems to be agreable on all terms - give or take a detail here or there. I guess he is really in a hurry to marry the little idiot baby sitter he has been dating for the last few years, starting in my house... (this still enrages me).
I guess everybody ultimately gets what they deserve... this will also happen to them. For me, I think the end of the year will be quite important, and I will be busy with paperwork. My 2007 start better than that, and bring some happiness and peace in my heart.
THanks to all listening... I'll stick around.
The road won't be easy... but progress toward a resolution will bring you much happiness and peace.
We are here with you!
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~