Re-thinking my position... need advice

Avatar for susieyippin
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2003
Re-thinking my position... need advice
1
Mon, 07-30-2007 - 6:42pm

...regarding the line of credit and the car issues...

All the stress from the past 6 months or so has caught up with me. My chronic fatigue/adrenal burnout and fibromyalgia have gotten very bad. This happened to me last year, and I was flat on my back for close to a month before I was alright enough to even go grocery shopping. It was 6 months before I felt strong enough to do more things...

Here's a rundown of the recent stressors:

1. In Febrary/March, X's gf harassed DS's gf, and caused a monumental rift between DS and his father.

2. In March, X gave me trouble about DSs and I having household items stored at his storage facility, and we had to move our things out within a few days.

3. In early April, X took the plates off my car (technically, it was in HIS name, but I was supposed to hang onto it unto my house sold, and I could buy a new one).

4. My idiot attorney basically did nothing, and we went to court over the car, with no real decision, and 4 months later, I STILL have no car.

5. In May, I discovered a HUGE error by my attorney: she missed a 50K line of credit that had been spent on X's business-- this loan was taken out on the HOUSE, and *I* am paying for it. 3K of my money since last August has been paid out for this loan, and my attorney has refused to discuss it.

6. I have since fired that attorney, and my new attorney has suggested I take the old one to court for malpractice, and challenging the settlement agreement. This would involve getting ANOTHER attorney (in addition to the new one!) to handle a portion of the case, and we have a 1 in 3 chance of even getting someplace.

7. My chiropractor's (he and his wife are my mom's oldest friends, and I'm quite close to them) wife was diagnosed with leukemia in April, and I went to work for them in their office. I commuted 90 minutes round trip 4 days a week (dropped down to 3 days after school let out for vacation), and was basically their office manager. My chiro does not handle ANY stress well at all, and the other girls in the office and I had to CONSTANTLY talk him out of depression, hissy fits, and threats of suicide. I feel for him, but hey, grow up & be the head of household, eh?

8. While I was working, 11 y/o DS spent that time at his father's. Nearly every night, DS would come home a total basket case. He was a mess the entire summer.

Whew!!!! So, I am done in!

Right now, I cannot deal (health-wise) with another drawn out court battle that I may not win. There IS a time constraint on filing to open up the settlement agreement. It was enetered into the court last August 28th, and I only have 1 year to file (a WICKED complicated process) to have the court even CONSIDER looking at it. The courts do not like to revisit these things.

I was thinking about sitting down with X, and telling him that I know that the 50K line of credit was spent on his business. I have the checks from the bank-- my attorney never got these from X. He passed it off as being spent on the house.

I would insist that he take over this loan.

I would remind him that I have spent over 3K since last August on HIS loan. Some of this money was taken out from my cash settlement by him.

I would offer the car to him (it's been sitting in my driveway since April 3rd, and now has bees nests in it-- ;-) ).

I would tell him that *I* am still paying for the car.

I would tell him that (bluffing, of course) I would take this to court, and that would only cost the 2 of us MORE money and stress, AND the entire settlement would be restructured.

I would tell him to forget the 3K spent on the loan by me.

He gets the car and the loan. I am paying for the car.

I just want this over with... I'm moving to a new town, and I want a fresh start, without having to worry about court battles and more attorney's fees. I'm willing to "eat" a bit of this mess in order to move on.

Anyone have any advice? Thanks in advance for your help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2007
Mon, 07-30-2007 - 9:29pm

Hang in there!

My opinion for what it's worth - I did my whole divorce this way. We pretty much left the lawyers out of it and divided things up between us in a way that struck us as fair. And by fair, I mean that I didn't get too badly worked over. My XH probably walked away with $5k or so more than he should have. But clearly lots of legal bills would have decreased the pool of money quite a bit, and my "half" would probably have ended up smaller that way than what we did.

I have never regretted working the division out ourselves. Lawyers are basically out to make $$, and if you don't need them, why put your $$ in their pockets.

I guess that my advice is, if you think that you won't regret this and your XH will go for it, then by all means do it! It will get you the closure that you desire much more quickly than court.

Either way, BOL!
~Kristi