really bummed
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really bummed
| Wed, 09-05-2007 - 12:05pm |
My H and his GF have stated that "this time they are going to do it the right way". The right way in doing what? I just got off the phone with my H's health insurance. I was told that open enrollment is coming up in October. My H can take me off of his health insurance only during the enrollment period. Considering what him and his gf have said, I guess they mean doing things the right way in wiping me out. I have been on this man's insurance for 32 years now, he always said that I need not worry about finding work that offered good health insurance. With every day that passes, and with every new thing I hear and learn, I die inside even more. I really don't want to live anymore. It's too hard for me to go day to day like this. He told me over 3 weeks agao that I will be hearing from his lawyer in a week or so, I haven't heard anything yet, I havene't received anything. This day to day stuff is too much for me. I can't understand why people think that I can handle all of this, I can't. thanks for allowing to come here and make a complete fool out of myself. I'm just not as strong as people think, I'm not as strong as so many of you on here. I'm done.

Good afternoon rhea,
Your not making a fool of yourself! These are hurtful things to experience.
If you are not yet divorced, I think your husband is required to carry you on his insurance, especially if he's been doing that for 32 years! But this is a purely legal question. I'm pretty sure that if he dropped you, he'd be liable for your insurance costs.
(He probably will disagree. And if he did drop you, you would have to pursue a legal remedy, which you would win.
If you do not have your own lawyer, you should consider retaining one. You need to have temporary orders established. These orders would establish a benchmark of what assets and liabilities exists, ensure that the "status quo" of life style is maintained, and that support issues (such as insurance, who pays the mortgage, utilities, taxes, et al) are defined and codified.
Your stbx cannot just drop you from insurance and leave you destitute.
Good luck.
Katy
I know it's hard and even harder to imagine, but you will make it through this. Be strong and go and see a lawyer and take some action. Don't wait around for him to do it, he will try to intimidate you and if I were you I wouldn't trust what he says.
In my case my xh had to keep paying for my health insurance until the day our divorce was final. When he has a divorce decree, he can then take you off of his health insurance (unless as part of your decree, he keeps you on), he doesn't have to wait for 'open enrollment.' Divorce would be one of the life changing conditions that allow you to add or take someone off your policy.
I would definitely seek some legal advice to find out where you stand. You will be ok!! A small tidbit of advice, if you are still using joint accounts for groceries, that type of thing, it may be a good idea to start buying grocery store gift cards here and there and for Target too and keep those put away for you to use after your divorce is final. (advice someone gave me)
Good luck and we are here to support you!
Hi Rhea,
Listen to everyone. Get an attorney. Do a little reseach and get a good one. You deserve more than you think after 32 years and that's how you have to look at it. You gave him 32 years of your life, now he needs to be accountable for it. I was married for 27 years and my X had a "Master Plan" how he was going to leave me destitute. The guy is still brewing over it now. Everything we owned was split in almost half, including retirement plans. I'm living comfortably, like I deserve to. He could NOT take me off his insurance until the divorce was final. It is illegal to take you off his pension plan also. Hang in there.