Really think my marriage ended tonite

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
Really think my marriage ended tonite
11
Thu, 12-21-2006 - 9:39pm

I don't know how to sum this up...but making a long story short - my in-laws and my husband think I don't welcome my in-laws to stay at our house this Christmas Eve because I invited my parents. Problem is that I didn't know Husband invited his & he didn't know I invited mine (there were conversations, but OBVIOUSLY communications is a problem with us). REgardless that this is not what I at all intended for them to think, he told me he couldn't forgive me (and pretty much told me I wasn't welcome to Christmas w/ his extended family) and I finally asked if - before this - he still loved me and he said he didn't know or something like that.

I was going to really use the new year as a time to renew energy into our marriage now that kids are 16 mo. and 4.5 years. But it looks like it is too late. What should I be doing? I really don't know that he's going to put the energy into saving this marriage. I'm heartbroken b/c I feel like a failure and hate that my kids won't see their Dad, who they love, everyday.

Any suggestions welcome and needed. (RE: this situation, I want to call his p's but he thinks they're too hurt - like I'm not - and that nothing I say will make them want to come Sunday.)


Melissa

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Tue, 12-26-2006 - 6:17am
Hi!
So glad all turned up to be sort of OK. An in-law family like that makes one want to move to Australia!!! What an unpleasant mess.
Your MIL sounds very manipulative and used to be the only center of attention... I hope that the fact that your parents could not come at the last moment is not due to any health issues or real problems.
It is definitely a good idea to let your DH calm down and then discuss the issue. I find very unfair that you have to leave out your parents and your family to be with his - marriage should be a union of two families, not abandoning one for another.... and especially at Christmas, one should remember this.

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