Rebound Relationship

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2003
Rebound Relationship
4
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 10:43am

How do you know if it's just a rebound date? A guy that my x and I have known mutually for about 5yrs asked me out yesterday for this weekend. He used to go 4-wheeler riding with us sometimes, and play cards at our house every now and then. He knows our whole story and is aware that Dave didn't want children and that I was ready to move on and start a new chapter in life when he decided he wanted a divorce. This guy was around a few weeks ago when we first started to split and I had told him the whole scenerio but throughout the yrs he was aware of everything. I never expected him to ask me out, I honestly have never seen him with a girl maybe one in five yrs and never thought he would be attracted to me. I was surprised, and now I'm excited. He works out of town so he left yesterday and will be back Friday I gave him my number and told him to call me. He knows I don't just want someone to go out with, he knows I want to find someone who wants the samethings out of life as me. How do I know the difference in rebound and something that actually could be? X is filing today at 1:30 kinda nervous, but I can't wait until it's over. This weekend I had a slight slip on the emotional side, he was taking his gf around our mutual friends and their kids, it was hard to be around them when the kids were telling me about her, how they didn't like her, and asking me why Dave was seeing someone with kids when he doesn't like kids. They brake my heart, they acted like they hadn't saw me in forever, they are 7 and 8 years old and they don't understand. I told x he didn't need to be taking her around the kids it's just not a good idea, I can't give up my friends so for me to stop going around them isn't an option. They have always been there for me and it's not going to happen. I just don't want to get caught up in a rebound relationship.

Stacy

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2003
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 11:12am
Stacy - unfortunately you don't know if it a rebound relationship. I was divorced last October, the guy I am seeing now isn't even divorced yet. We had met when he was still married, and he waited until he was separated before he asked me out. I was reluctant, but he was persuasive and we have been seeing each other for 3 months now. I am not going to lie to you and say that it is easy to date while you are going thru a divorce, I watch my guy go thru a lot emotionally, and i try to be a friend in those times. My advice is if you feel ready go on the date, enjoy yourself, and see where this goes. You have to date him to get to know him and for him to know you and you will learn a lot about yourself in the process. As for your ex, I feel for you. My exh was never a father to our daughter and told me flat out he didn't want more children. Now he is married to a woman who has twins, and he told me he wants to have a baby with her. PS - he is NEVER around for our daughter. I wish I could explain it to you but there really isn't an answer. I just thank my lucky stars I got out when I did and I am able to move on. Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2003
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 11:40am


That's pretty bad, and I see this happening to x. He would say he wanted kids then he didn't, it went on for 2yrs, he pushed me away for 2yrs over a baby. Now he cheated on me with a girl who has twin 13yr old boys she never raised them and never has them. He says he isn't dating her but she's there and I've saw them together, he says why would I date someone with kids, I don't want kids and then he asked me to talk about our problem. I told him there were no problem let me sign and find me a real man that wants to grow up, b/c that's not him and he has made that clear to me on more than one occasion. I can see him having several children knowing he doesn't want them, and he probably wouldn't take care of them it is very sad. They made their bed they have to lie in it. I am ready to date and I'm so excited this will be a long week. I hope we hit it off. Thanks for your advise.

Stacy

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2004
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 5:27pm
Stacy, in your other thread you talk about how much you want to work it out with your H....now you're excited because you have a date?
Sanguine
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2004
Tue, 08-23-2005 - 9:13am

This article might be helpful to you:

http://www.soyouvebeendumped.com/lorna_rebound.html