Regrets Anyone?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2006
Regrets Anyone?
29
Fri, 08-25-2006 - 2:07am

Just wondering how many of you, either all said and done or currently going through the process, have regretted your decision to divorce?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: slim262
Fri, 08-25-2006 - 3:25am
Not for one second on one day.
Steph

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2006
In reply to: slim262
Fri, 08-25-2006 - 5:10am
Regrets? Can't say I do but that's because it was never my choice. It was a decision he made that I have to live with. Disappointed? Very much so.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
In reply to: slim262
Fri, 08-25-2006 - 8:23am

not for one friggin' second!!

i am sorry that the marriage didn't work out (both marriages). but i have to be honest with myself ---- and i know that both times it was a mistake, and imarried the wrong person for the wrong reasons. i would've stayed with my first husband (my son's bio-dad), if he would've gone to therapy, but he didn't want to, and the abuse was too much. the second marriage - we did go to therapy for a while but then he stopped going (cause he didn't need it lol). to be honest - i n my second marriage i knew walking down the aisle that it was a bad match. and i did try --- but there was no way it could work.

sometimes i think that marriages CAN be saved if people get help and do alot of self-work. but sometimes its just a bad match and no matter what - it will never be a good marriage.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: slim262
Fri, 08-25-2006 - 8:46am

Considering just how long I was miserable before I made the decision.... there's not a chance I regret it!


I'm happier... and, therefore,


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
In reply to: slim262
Fri, 08-25-2006 - 9:51am

I read the other comments and it does not look like anyone else had regrets about their divorce but I want you to know there are still many days I do regret it (and I'm the one who filed). My head tells me I did the right thing but my heart still aches. It has been 3 months since my divorce was final. Maybe because it still new; I haven't healed.

You are not alone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
In reply to: slim262
Fri, 08-25-2006 - 1:41pm
I wasn't given the choice, but I regret my divorce. He filed. I pray everyday for him to come home. I regret treating him badly enough that he felt he had to get away from me. I regret what this has/is doing to my children. I regret that it is my fault that i will have to live the rest of my life alone, without the love of my life.
Hugs, Brenda


Edited 8/25/2006 1:43 pm ET by mebrenda

Hugs, Brenda 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: slim262
Fri, 08-25-2006 - 10:23pm

Not for one millionth of a second. Although it hasn't always been easy, it's been the best decision I've ever made.

Melanie

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2004
In reply to: slim262
Fri, 08-25-2006 - 11:29pm

None what-so-ever!!! But I couldn't have said it up until August when he tried to make me lose my job... I have been married to him 13 years, but was unhappy since the same year that we married because of the financial problems he brought to the marriage. I still had feelings for him based on what I wanted him to be and what he claimed to be... But when he messed with my job, it woke me up.

He was going to take advantage of me as much as he can. But now that I can be careless if he is shot to death, and he knows about it, he does not bother me anymore. He was going to feed into my feelings for him as long as it was there. He is really a needy person and he really believes his woman is supposed to look after him...

When I answer his calls for kids, I feel like speaking to a stranger. We don't talk and that is great.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
In reply to: slim262
Sat, 08-26-2006 - 10:41am

I think you'll see many different answers based on how long a person has been divorced, or how long the've been going through the process. Earlier on, I think it is much more common to be plagued with doubt and regrets.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2006
In reply to: slim262
Sun, 08-27-2006 - 1:39pm

Regrets....ahhhhh

regret that I made the mistake of marrying him to start with....yes.
regret that I had children with him....no
regret that I allowed myself to just keep on with a no-win situation for so long....yes.
regret that I am finally out and on my own now....no.

mixed bag of regrets there, I guess. Part of me is sad that we couldn't make it work, sorry I wasted a lot of years trying to hold it together, angry that I was never good enough for him, and relieved that I don't have to keeping trying to be something I can't ever be.

is that a good enough answer?

I know it is still okay to love the person that he is...he is of great character, a superb father, but cannot make his woman his number one priority. I'll know better next time (if there IS a "next time", LOL.)

Debi

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