Relationships with kids after Divorce...
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|Mon, 02-27-2012 - 11:15am|
Hi all -
Just wondering if there are any other mom's here who have any young daughters who have any experiences/advice to share. My daughter is 7 and we have what I would consider a good, but at times difficult relationship. When she is with me, she's usually always by my side, but I feel she can be pretty closed off and distant at times.
Maybe some of it has to do with that I expect too much? My daughter and I are very similar but also very different in some ways. When I was young, I grew up with only my mother and my father wasn't around. So I guess I had an extreme loyalty to my mother where as my daughter has a very active father & now new step-mother in hers. She has a twin brother and both of them has always seemed to have a preference for their dad even though I have spent just as much time etc. raising them?
So while I know of course my kids love me and I'm important in their lives, I'm not always feeling it. For example, my ex tells me how our son always has to kiss him before bedtime etc. While I just have to steal whatever I can get. My daughter is a little more loving towards me at times, but she often will give the cold shoulder as well. Another example - I meet the step-mom to exchange the kids yesterday and my daughter didn't want to give me a kiss good-bye...how lovely is that?
I mean, I'm their mother - and I know logically what I mean to them and their lives, even though I'm not able to be there with them as much as I'd like, but their behavior is a little discouraging and I wonder what all of this means as far as closeness with them and my relationships with them as they get older?
I mean, I'd like to think I'm a pretty cool, loving but at times can be a little harsh mom - and none of that's gonna change. I also have an older son by a previous relationship who we have an extremly tight bond - but I do realize we had more one on one time when he was little - so there is the "twin" factor. But...for whatever reason (I'm sure some of it may lie on their dad's end, even tho he's never outwardly bashed me) my relationships with them just seem more difficult. So I'm just trying to get some perspective around it so that I can handle it a little better and not be so emotionally drained from it in the future.
Thanks for reading and letting me vent ;-)