Relocating
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| Wed, 08-15-2007 - 11:26am |
Has anyone ever gone to the courts to ask for permission to relocate out of state? Quick background...Ive been D since 2004, X and i have shared parenting...My fiance and I have been in a long distance relationship since 2005..he lives in CO, i'm in Ohio...at some point in the next year I would like to relocate to CO...My ex will never grant me permission, this i know...But I would like to move on with my life and get married again. My BF is a successful, well educated businessman...has a beautiful home and is just a wonderful man...no drugs, alchohol or criminal past...Life would be wonderful for me with all sorts of opportunities for my children...I'm just so nervous that the courts won't allow me to go and going without my children is NOT an option. My plan once I relocate would be to for the kids and I to live on our own for about a year (this will be adjustment enough) want to ease into the whole situation with stepchildren etc...I plan on working full time during that year and then after that, once my fiance and I are married I will be finishing my education full time for about a year.
I know I will have to go to the courts and show them my plan, give them a background on the area we will be living and my plan to keep their father in their lives. I have no issues with their dad remaining involved and am willing to help facilitate him seeing them as much as possible. Any advice from anyone who has done this or knows anything about it....Do I have a chance at getting this approved?

It sounds like you can't take the child unless the other parent agrees and the court agrees. To tell you the truth, it's usually in the child's best interest to continue 50/50 time with both parents. Unfortunately, when we have kids, we have to put their interests ahead of our own.
Cat
Mom to 5: DS-17, DD-16, DD-11, DD-9, DS-7
Document, document, document!
I say, if he's not seeing both kids extremely consistently.... if he isn't involved with their school (showing up, attending conferences, school activities with the kids, being a part of extra activities and sports, etc.) you might have a leg to stand on.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
I have an extremely similar story!! My divorce was just final a few months ago, and I also want to relocate. My reason is to be closer to family (we have none here, on either side of the family). I also live in Ohio! I want to relocate to Arizona. I have a 13 and 11 year old. The difference is I knew ahead of time that I would want to relocate, so I did a lot of leg work prior to the divorce being final. At the "eleventh hour," (three weeks before we were to go to court to finalize our dissolution), I told ex I wanted him to sign an addendum to our agreement, allowing me to move to Arizona.....and I wanted him to sign it before the divorce was final. He of course resisted, but since we were doing a dissolution, I "threatened" to pull out of the dissoultion, and file for divorce, which would mean another year of being married, court fees, attorney fees, etc., not to mention what it would do to the kids. Long story short.....he signed off, and I'm hoping to put my house on the market within the next month.
Now, I realize you don't have that option, but don't give up, or be discouraged by the laws here. One of the reasons ex signed off, was all the documentation I told him I had to prove why this would be in the best interest of the kids. That is all the courts will care about, trust me!! In my situation, ex had an affair, which ended our marriage, he's still with gf, travels 100 days a year for his job........so basically I have documented every trip he has taken for the past two years, the activities/events he's missed (right down to the number of baseball games of my son's that he missed this year), to missed open houses, and parent/teacher conferences....all of it!!
Although I didn't have to go through what you will, there was that possibility if ex didn't sign the form, and I was ready. I had already spoken to an attorney that was recommended to me to handle such cases. I was told that it can be tough to move kids without ex's approval, but it's not impossible. You just have to prove your case. Re-marriage, and new job, are certainly looked upon favorable in the eyes of the courts (or so I was told). If you have a job waiting for you, all the better! If there are truly concerns for your chid's welfare when they are with their dad....definitely something in your favor. The kid's opinions matter as well, especially when they are older. For me personally, I weighed that heavily in my decision-making. My kid's know the small role their father plays in their life, and they want to move closer to family.
Every situation is different, and as a previous poster mentioned, it has a lot to do with the judge, and the county you are in. If this is truly important to you, I suggest you start preparing your case, ask around for a good domestic relations lawyer in your area, and make an appointment. You deserve the right to go on with your life, and provide the best possible life for you and your children.
Good luck!!
Tis