Relocating and Custody Issues

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2005
Relocating and Custody Issues
3
Sat, 04-22-2006 - 11:02am
I have a custody question for anyone who may be in a similiar situation...brief history been divorced for two years and have a shared parenting agreement with the EX, we both live in the same town. My ex is seeing a woman who live in CA (we live in Ohio), I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend but he lives in CO, we see each other once a month for long weekends as he travels alot for his work. Anyways, things are moving along nicely and our hope is someday to be married, the only problem is there is no way he can ever move here, because of the nature of his work. For us to be married, I would have to relocate to CO, I don't think my ex would ever agree to the kids moving clear across the country, however, there is a chance that he may eventually want to move to CA with with GF. I just don't know the likelihood, since we don't speak to each other about such things. I was told by my attorney that I would have to take him back to court for full custody if he didn't agree to us moving. I don't really want to do that, because to me that says "I'm taking your children away from you", and I know he would perceive it that way as well. I'm not really sure what my question is but I feel like...how can the courts and my EX stop me from remarrying and moving on with my life...I'm completely in love with the man and want to spend the rest of my life with him as a family. What are the chances that I would be able to do this? Anyone have a similiar situation or can offer some advice. Thanks so much in advance!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Sat, 04-22-2006 - 11:16am

I don't think there is any hard and fast rule in these situations. I have heard of the courts deciding either way.



Technically, I guess your ex could ask the same thing and try to get full custody and move to California. It's a tough situation! If this is something you absolutely want to do, it looks like you will have some court dates in the future.


Also, there is a

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sun, 04-23-2006 - 6:13pm

You need to talk to your EX to feel him out about his relationship with the CA person.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2003
Mon, 04-24-2006 - 11:17am

I'll state an unpopular opinion first -- both you and your ex need to wait. Let the kids continue with school, without any significant changes in their lives. They are still recovering from the trauma of a divorce.

Regardless of how well you think your relationship is progressing, two years after a divorce is still TOO SOON. So I would delay any major relationship changes for at least another two years -- if you really want this relationship to work for the long term!

I live in columbus OH. During the divorce, my ex wife wanted to move away. So the options boiled down to the following.

Both the ex and I owned houses such that my son's school selection was identical regardless of which house he stayed at.

In this case, the courts indicated that my son would stay with me should my ex move, because the impact was the least to my son. Had I lived in another school district, cauing him to switch schools or districts, the courts would have a different answer.