Roll Call! We haven't done this...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Roll Call! We haven't done this...
87
Sun, 08-06-2006 - 3:46pm

in a while! Lurkers, please come out of hiding, too. Anything you want to share...age, location, kids (if any) and how far you are along in the divorce process.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2005
Wed, 08-09-2006 - 8:06pm

Hi everyone!

I'm Karen will be 35 in 2 weeks have two DD's age 11 and 10.
Live in western PA will also be moving into a new house by end of month.
Divorced for just over a year left him Dec. 5 2001.
I am so much happier now than the 8 years we were together. I still get the nagging jabs from ex every now and then,I just try to let it roll off my back as much as possible. Good luck to all of you who are just entering this chapter of your life. Time does heal as long as you are open to it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2003
Thu, 08-10-2006 - 12:05am

I'm Natalie, I'm from southern Michigan. I'm just starting the divorce process, which takes a manditory 6 months in MI because we have a daughter, who is 17 months. We go to meet with the friend of the court for the first time on Monday.


Am I the only one who feels really overwhelmed by all of this? I was the one that wanted out, and now that I'm "out"... I'm miserable. I can't sleep, I can't eat. I BAWLED all day while moving my stuff out. This is the only house that my daughter has ever known, and there are SO many memories here, and wrapped up in our daughter.... it makes it hard to remember the bad times, although they were plenty.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2006
Thu, 08-10-2006 - 1:39am

Hi, I'm Brenda. I'm 31 and just moved back to my home state of Washington. I've been married 12 years (yes, you did the math right, I was 19) to an active duty soldier (army). I'm just starting this whole process. I woke up one day and saw myself in the mirror, and wondered where I went. After trying to discuss this with my husband, the response was, "so you need more personal time?" What I need is to be able to speak about things without worrying about the reaction (he has self esteem issues) and to be able to have a life outside of him without being accused of cheating on him. I have 3 kids, 10, 7, and 2. The middle is a girl. Right now I'm re-learning how to be an adult. My adulthood has always been based on living his life. I've been a stay at home mom for most of the last 10 years, and haven't had a full time job in 6. This is scary. The kids and I are staying with my sister at the moment.

Like I mentioned, from the time we were dating until recently, I've been constantly accused of cheating on him. I never even considered it until about 2 months ago. I'll end your curiosity - I did. For me the fact that I could was a huge factor in all this. I tried to talk over my issues concerning the changes I've made within myself in order to make him happy, and the fact that I have been screaming for him to notice me the last few years (I gained 20 pounds, started lying on the couch watching tv most of the day, quit going to the doctor or dentist...) In other words destroying myself in hopes of capturing his attention. So, once I brought all this up, he basically put me into choosing between leaving him, or going back to the way things have always been. Given that choice - I left. I wanted to take this whole process a little slower, take the time to wrap my head around it all, but not so much. I packed up a few things of mine and the kid's things weekend before last, and drove it all from SC to WA.

So now I find myself needing to find a job, a place to live, and a lawyer. I wanted to put this off, but after all his accusations (including that I am going to take his kids and run off to Germany with some guy) he has decided to start dating already. So, I have decided that it is time to put the whole legal process in motion. I am scared to death, but ready for it.

So, I found this message board and am glad for it. It is helping get me through the long nights (I'm a night owl).

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 08-10-2006 - 10:07am

Hi there.... my EX was also so insecure about every moment that I wasn't under his nose.... and if I was at home and online, he was behind me most of the time looking over my shoulder, and let me tell ya, by the time we divorced, I was plotting and planning to do ANYTHING I could do just to have some freedom from him.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 08-10-2006 - 10:09am

How did I miss it? NEWLY ENGAGED? Congrats. I am "hopeful to be soon engaged, but doing all the talking still".

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2006
Thu, 08-10-2006 - 4:29pm
Hi my name is Val I am 27 and i live in the southwest. I have three kids ages 10,9 and 6. The one in the middle is my son. I have been married for 8 years, but we have been together for 11! I am at the beginning of a process of divorce. I filed two years ago and then we reconciled after I thought things had changed. I believe my husband has a drug and alchol problem that he is not wanting to come to terms with. We have fought constantly as he tries to say that I am cheating on him or I don't want to be with him. When the truth is neither or those things. I think says that to try to justify what is he is doing. Anyway long story short. I have had enough. I still feel guilty at times that i can't help him but, I feel i need to do what is best for my children. We are still living together and I feel stuck! I have visted this site a few times mostly parenting stuff and I lurk here occassionally looking for someone who has a similar story.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2001
Thu, 08-10-2006 - 4:33pm
A house is just a house, but a HOME is a HOME! I still miss the house that XH and I built together, but it's just a house. My HOME is what the girls and I have created together!

~calla~  mom to rosie and gracie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 08-10-2006 - 4:56pm

A-men, Girlfriend!

I loved my almost 4000 sq foot house too... but my girls and are are HOME in our little 1000 sq ft condo, where there is NOTHING but LOVE, and HAPPINESS!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Thu, 08-10-2006 - 6:51pm
Karen,
I'm glad you had a great time in Colorado! Thanks for sharing with me. I may make it to TN (Knoxville) in the wintertime myself.
Have a terrific day, Belinda
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Thu, 08-10-2006 - 6:57pm
I went through the same exact thing...give it time. Change is hard. Hang in there. Belinda

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